


If I Know You

by LeChatRouge673



Series: Fables & Other Tales [4]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fairy Tale, Alternate Universe - Sleeping Beauty, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-27
Updated: 2020-08-26
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:28:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 40,700
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26131162
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LeChatRouge673/pseuds/LeChatRouge673
Summary: Does love truly conquer all?Nate wakes up in an unfamiliar place with no memory of who he is or how he ended up in southern Ferelden save for a single letter and an engagement ring. After years of searching for answers with no success, he meets a woman who makes him wonder for the first time if who he was is perhaps not as important as who he is yet to become.Cataline Cousland has been plagued by dreams for nearly a decade: dreams of a man whose face is always just out of view, but who makes her feel as though she was finally where she was meant to be. When Nate of South Reach arrives in Gwaren to attend the wedding of her cousin, Cat begins to believe that perhaps she may find love even beyond the ethereal borders of her dreams.
Relationships: Female Cousland/Nathaniel Howe, Loghain Mac Tir/Female Trevelyan
Series: Fables & Other Tales [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1244933
Comments: 2
Kudos: 6





	1. Chapter 1

There was a magic to this place.

There was magic everywhere, of course, if one simply knew where to look for it. In Morrigan’s experience, most people were either too dull or too stubborn to see what was directly in front of their noses, but that suited her fine so long as their ignorance did not inconvenience her. It also granted her a certain superiority: because she was willing to see the magic in the world, she was able to exploit it to her own purposes. That being said, there was something different about this hut deep in the Korcari Wilds. She had spent her entire childhood desperately wanting to be anywhere else and yet now, as a young woman, she still found herself returning to the ramshackle home she had grown up in, and to the woman who had raised her.

‘Mother’ may have been a bit of a stretch, for Flemeth, but Morrigan granted the elder woman a certain begrudging respect and, yes, affection despite the unconventional nature of her upbringing. She would not stay long: a day perhaps, or a week. Long enough to satiate whatever strange pull the Wilds held on her soul. She inhaled deeply, breathing in the simmering brew currently residing in the cook pot on the hearth.

“Supper will be ready soon,” she announced, setting the spoon aside and reaching for the rough wooden bowls.

“Do not bother setting the table yet, girl,” Flemeth replied, a trace of annoyance in her tone. “We are about to have uninvited guests. Make yourself scarce, would you?”

Morrigan scowled and began to protest, but a sudden and violent pounding at the front door changed her mind. With a final baleful glare at her mother, she gracefully shifted from human to raven and took her place perched upon a skull that Flemeth kept on the mantle. She had not the slightest idea who the skull had belonged to; all she knew was that it was a particularly useful tool for setting unwelcome visitors on edge. Flemeth spared a backwards glance and a small, sardonic smile before she opened the door.

“You need not make such a fuss. I have been expecting you.”

“Save your parlor tricks, witch,” the new arrival snarled. Morrigan recognized him: Rendon Howe, the Arl of Amaranthine, and a singularly unpleasant man. For the past year he had been waging some sort of campaign against the ‘undesirables’ of the Korcari Wilds: namely, the Dalish, Chasind, and other people or creatures that preferred to stay well away from human society. They had offered him no threat; rather, it was his own desperation for self-importance that drove his madness. It had become an increasing nuisance to her mother, and it did not come as a surprise that a reckoning was inevitable. “This midden heap you call a home is currently surrounded by my men, and should I even think you are casting some spell against me I will burn it and this entire maker-forsaken forest to the ground.”

Flemeth made a mocking tsking sound. “Now, Rendon, there is no call for that. Besides, I imagine Maric would be ill-pleased if you scorched his lands in the name of… what exactly? You clearly want something or you would have, as you so eloquently put it, burnt my hovel to the ground.”

Rendon snarled under his breath. Morrigan knew her mother was right: the Arl wanted something, and badly, if he was desperate enough to seek out the aid of an apostate witch. And not just any apostate: a fabled Witch of the Wilds. “I have a problem I need… removed,” he spat, and Flemeth raised an eyebrow, managing to look both bored and skeptical in the same moment.

“Despite the tales you city dwellers spread, I am not omniscient,” she laughed dryly. “I will need a bit more detail than that.”

“My son,” Rendon replied, his eyes narrowing with hatred that Morrigan could practically feel from her perch. “My eldest, Nathaniel. I want him removed. Gone. Like he never existed.”

Flemeth laughed then, and for the first time Rendon seemed unnerved. “I have never been accused of having any particular maternal instincts, but are parents not traditionally supposed to protect their offspring, not have them removed from existence?”

“The boy is useless,” Rendon sneered. “No ambition, no will to make the hard choices, no desire to see our family in its rightful place. I have given too much to have him drag us back to mediocrity simply because he thinks it ‘noble.’ My youngest will be far better suited to rule than he.”

“To ‘rule’ you say?” Flemeth seemed more amused than anything else, despite Rendon’s increasing agitation and the way his fingers flexed around the hilt of his axe. “Such ambition. But I see no particular reason why I should involve myself in your petty family squabbles.”

“Do this,” Rendon stated, “And I will remove my forces from the Wilds. You will not be troubled again. Refuse, and this pathetic little hut becomes your funeral pyre. So what will it be?”

She laughed again, and this time Morrigan ruffled her feathers as a shiver ran through her. Had it been anyone other than Rendon Howe, she may well have felt sorry for them, but as it was she was struggling to maintain her form while also tamping down on the sudden spike of fear and alarm that had shot through her. Morrigan clenched her talons through the eye sockets of the skull, and listened to what her mother said next.

“How can I possibly refuse such an offer, especially after you have gone through such trouble to blackmail me,” Flemeth chuckled. “Very well, Rendon. I will need an object that belongs to the boy; something he values.”

Rendon reached into his pack and tossed a single arrow onto the rustic table. The arrow itself was rather beautiful: perfectly balanced, with wildflowers painstakingly etched onto the arrowhead and vines carved in minute detail along the wood. This was not simple ammunition: it was a gift, and one of love at that. Morrigan felt her stomach drop as she realized just who must have given it to Nathaniel, and what she knew was about to happen.

Flemeth accepted the arrow, and Morrigan watched as her mother infused the simple object with layer upon layer of magic, spell upon spell until even she was unable to keep track despite her best efforts. The arrow began to glow and pulse with energy until, suddenly, it stopped. Flemeth set it upon the mantle, not far from where Morrigan was perched, and turned back to Rendon.

“There,” she shrugged. “A simple enough matter. By midnight three nights hence, your son will be gone. It will be as though he never existed, and not even you will remember him. And,” Flemeth’s smile turned frosty, “As an additional act of good faith, I will give you this warning: this will not end the way you believe it will, Rendon Howe. Wolves may beset a bear when they are in a pack, and the simple sting of a rose’s thorn will turn deadly if a wyvern’s blood has stained it.”

Rendon stared at her for a moment, then spat on the floor as he turned to leave. “Save your ramblings, crone.” With that, he left, slamming the door behind him and shaking the walls of the entire hut. Flemeth stood there for a moment, thoughtful, then shrugged.

“Do not pretend as though you have not heard any of that,” she finally spoke, turning to face Morrigan as she shifted back into a human.

“How could you?” Morrigan hissed, anger and fear rising in her heart. “He has done nothing wrong, save the accident of his birth.”

“I have done what was necessary,” Flemeth replied, her tone still utterly untroubled. “Think, girl: had I refused, he would have found another way to kill the boy, or worse. I have bought you and your… friend… time. A decade, to be precise.”

“In which they will be parted from each other; will not even _remember_ each other,” Morrigan argued. While she still struggled to understand Cataline Cousland’s particular attachment to the Howe boy, she knew being parted from him would be agony for her dear friend. Despite every pragmatic bone in her body, she still chafed at causing Cat pain. “How am I to ask her to live with that knowledge?”

“That choice is yours, Morrigan,” Flemeth said evenly. “The curse requires a bearer to keep the memory of the boy alive during this time; to keep the anchor object hidden and safe. I have no stake in this: only you know who will be the best person to bear this burden.”

Morrigan stared at the arrow for a moment, then took it in her hands. As long as the anchor remained intact, Nathaniel Howe would cease to exist in the memories of anyone who had known him. He would not even know himself. The anchor was also, however, the one object that would doom him: should he so much as lay a finger on it he would fall into a deep, enchanted sleep so complete it would mean a functional death. Should he last the decade, however…

She looked up at her mother. “You already knew who I would choose, did you not?”

Flemeth almost smiled. “The choice is obvious, girl. She has more of a part to play in this than you yet know. Now, fly to her. Time is against you.”

“Very well,” Morrigan agreed. “And… thank you, mother.”

Flemeth cackled, throwing her head back in open amusement. “Do not thank me, Morrigan. Rendon is an idiot and chose his words poorly. He ought to know better than to be so careless with what he wishes for.” Her smile turned acidic. “I suspect he has just made very powerful enemies. And at least one of them will have ten long years in which to decide how she wants him to die.”

With that, she turned to the stew, and Morrigan knew it was her signal to leave. Once more she shifted to a raven, sleek and black as night, before lifting the arrow in her talons and flying through the open window.

It would be a long journey to Highever.

———————————————————————-

There was a magic to this place.

Thea leapt over the stream and faster through the forest, her bare feet springing off the soft moss and launching over stones like a wild jungle cat. Somewhere behind her, her best friend Nathaniel was making a good show of keeping pace with her, but despite his skills as a tracker he did not know the forest like she did. In fact, Thea would wager no one else in Highever did. She emerged from the dense foliage into the sunlight, auburn braid flying behind her as she raced through the meadow towards the keep. Finally, her hands hit the solid stone walls of Castle Highever, and she came to a stop, laughing through her breathlessness.

“I let you win,” Nathaniel panted as he caught up to her, bracing himself against the wall as he caught his own breath. Thea reached out and gave him a gentle nudge on the shoulder.

“Like the void you did,” she grinned. “You getting old on me, Nate?”

He snorted. “Hardly, Teddy Girl.”

“Nice of the two of you to grace us with your presence.”

Thea looked up and struggled to school her expression into one of contrition, but she knew she was failing. At her side, Nathaniel was doing no better as he faced Eleanor Cousland. “Apologies, Eleanor,” he said. “I hope we have not kept the others waiting?”

“Not quite,” Eleanor admitted, and despite the sternness in her tone there was a smile twitching at her lips. “Both of you upstairs to wash, now.” Then, under her breath, she added, “I’ll not have you proposing to my daughter looking as though you just tumbled off a hay wagon.”

Nathaniel’s cheeks flushed slightly, and Thea knew perfectly well it had nothing to do with the race she had just won. She turned and flashed him a brilliant smile as they made their way inside. “A sovereign says Cat’s so deliriously happy she cries.”

“Nice try, Thea, but I don’t take sucker bets,” Nathaniel teased her, cuffing her lightly on the shoulder. He paused outside the room he always stayed in when he visited Highever, then looked at her intently. “You really think she will say yes, Teddy Girl?”

“Oh, Nate.” Thea stepped closer and wrapped her best friend in a bear hug. “Of course she will. Everyone with eyes can see the two of you are head over heels in love with each other. Besides, this will give you a chance to live your life for _you_ , here in Highever, rather than in Amaranthine.”

“I still have not told my father yet,” Nathaniel admitted sheepishly. “Not that I think he will much care. He has always intended to pass the arling to Thomas. I worry I am not bringing much to the table, I suppose.”

Thea rolled her eyes. “Which no one gives a single damn about,” she announced. “Bryce and Eleanor are over the moon happy, and had they not been you know Cat would have run off with you somewhere.”

This seemed to reassure him, and he gave her a small smile. “True enough. And perhaps now we can begin looking for a suitable partner for _you_. I’m sure Eleanor has been practically champing at the bit.”

Thea stuck her tongue out at him briefly. “Still too young,” she pronounced. “And still too ‘tempestuous, temperamental, and outspoken.’”

Nathaniel laughed. “Well, the latter three are certainly true, though I would say we love you all the more for them. And you are right: I suppose eighteen is still a bit too young. Besides,” he winked at her, “This will give me some time before I have to start threatening men or women who break your heart.”

“Happy to be so obliging,” Thea replied airily. “Now, hurry up. I’ll meet you downstairs, yes?”

He nodded, then shut the door to his bedroom as Thea turned to continue down the hall. She was in a rare, honest good mood: her best friend was about to propose to her favorite cousin, the woman who had truly been more of a sister to her since Thea had moved in with her aunt and uncle eleven years ago. It was a warm, beautiful summer day, and the world felt alive and sparking with something she could not quite define. She entered her own bedroom, then poured some water into the wash basin to try and begin scrubbing away the smudges on her face. When she looked in the mirror, however, she had to resist the urge to shriek.

“Damn it, Morrigan!” She gave a huff of exasperation. “Has it even once occurred to you to use the front door like a-” Thea paused in her admonitions when she saw the look on her friend’s face. “Morrigan? Why are you here? Not that I am not glad to see you, but… does Cat know you are here?”

“No, and she must not know I was ever here, Thea,” Morrigan spoke quickly and very quietly. “I must ask something of you, and while the choice remains yours, I implore you to weigh it carefully.”

Thea sat down, her eyes fixed on the dark-haired apostate as she paced like a caged beast. Finally, Morrigan turned back to her. “I must tell you of what occurred in the Wilds.”

And so Thea listened as Morrigan told her of Rendon Howe’s visit to Flemeth’s hut in the Korcari wilderness, the bargain he made, and the price that had to be paid. When her friend had finished, Thea resisted her initial impulse, which was to begin screaming. Tempting though it was, she knew a fit of temper would do nothing to solve their current situation.

“There has to be another way.”

Morrigan threw up her hands in frustration. “Thea, I spent the entire flight here trying to think of literally any other way out of this situation, but ‘tis not that simple.”

“Certainly it is,” Thea retorted. “We go to the King. We tell him what Rendon tried to pull off.”

“To what end, Thea?” Morrigan sighed. “Whose word do you think he will take? That of a nobleman and war hero, albeit a particularly smarmy one, or that or an apostate witch who has barely seen twenty winters? All that will accomplish is letting Rendon know his initial plan failed, and he will have Nathaniel killed outright some other way. Our sole saving grace is that mother was able to play off the semantics of his request: he demanded his son disappear from memory, not that he die.”

“Then undo the damn spell!” Thea’s voice was rising now, and she struggled to control herself. “We will hide him! I am not… I _cannot_ do this, Morrigan,” she said, her shoulders slumping forward and tears springing to her eyes despite her best efforts. “There has to be _some_ other way.”

Morrigan’s eyes were uncharacteristically sympathetic, and somehow that only made Thea feel worse. “Thea, I cannot undo this magic. It is very old and, even if I knew exactly what Flemeth had cast, there is no guarantee I would have the skill to counter it.” She glanced out the window, where the summer sun was beginning to ride low in the sky. “A choice must be made now, Thea. The curse must have a bearer by sundown: someone to keep Nathaniel’s memory alive until the decade runs its course.”

Thea was quiet for a moment. “I will be the only one who knows?” She finally asked, and Morrigan shook her head.

“I will, as will mother,” she said, “But it is not the same. It…” she frowned, and seemed to be searching for the words to explain. “Your attachment to him, your love for him… it is what will bind the magic.”

“In that case, why are you not asking Cat?” Thea pressed. “I love Nathaniel, true: I love him like my own brother, but Cataline is _in love_ with him.”

Morrigan’s golden eyes turned sad. “Exactly,” she said softly. “Would you have her live an entire decade knowing he has no memory of her? Of their love? Knowing she cannot seek him out, or be with him? Do you truly believe she could do it?”

Thea was crying now, and she did not bother to hide it. Morrigan was tactful enough to not comment on the rare show of weakness from the younger woman. “Perhaps I should not tell you this,” Morrigan finally spoke, “But as the bearer, anyone you tell will know the truth. But I would advise against it unless you judge it absolutely necessary: the more people who know, the more likely it is that word will reach Rendon, thus rendering this entire exercise pointless. He will know where Nathaniel is and _who_ he is, and Nathaniel will have no way to know what is coming.”

“Which puts me functionally back where we started,” Thea replied dryly. She felt as though she were going to be ill. She stood up and walked onto her balcony, looking out over the rolling hills of Highever and beyond, to the shores of the sea. After a moment, Morrigan came to stand by her side.

“I did not want this either, Thea,” she spoke quietly. “Cataline is the closest thing to a best friend I have ever had, and I care for you as well. I would not ask this of you if I thought I had any other recourse.”

“I know, Morrigan,” Thea sighed. She wiped the tears from her eyes, took a deep breath, then steeled herself for what she knew she had to do. “What do you need of me?”

“Give me your arm,” Morrigan said. Thea did as she asked, not even wincing when Morrigan drew a small, wickedly sharp blade from the pouch at her waist. A quick flick of the blade, and a cut opened along Thea’s forearm. Then, she produced an intricately designed arrow, one Thea recognized as a gift Cat had given to Nathaniel on his twentieth birthday two years past. Morrigan carefully dripped the blood from Thea’s arm onto the arrow, and as the drops hit the wood and metal she felt a shudder run through her entire body.

Morrigan handed her the arrow, which looked as pristine as it had the day Cat had picked it up from the smith. “This is the curse anchor,” Morrigan explained. “Keep it safe, and keep it the void away from Nathaniel. Should he get so much as a splinter from it, he will fall into a deep sleep akin to death, and I am not certain how to undo that. Perhaps I will learn more in the coming years.”

Thea accepted the offering, locking it away in a chest. “What happens now?” She whispered.

Morrigan looked back out the open window, where the sun was finally setting below the horizon. “Now… now you will fall asleep, Thea. You will all fall asleep. When you wake on the morrow, you alone will remember Nathaniel. He will be gone, I know not where, and he will have no more memory of himself than anyone else. You must bear this secret, and this curse, for ten years. The pact will be renewed every year on this day, until the curse ends. With any luck, the blood magic will also drain away some of the lethality. On the final day, the magic will be broken, and memories will be restored. On that day, you must decide how you want to proceed, but I would strongly recommend finding a way to remove Rendon Howe from the equation.”

“I… But what if I…” Thea yawned, and she could feel her consciousness failing. “Morrigan, wait, I have…”

“Goodbye, Thea.”

—————————————————- 

Cataline woke to the feeling of warm sunlight on her skin, and the scent of fresh wildflowers floating in on the breeze through her open window. It was already shaping up to be a perfect summer day, and yet she felt an unease in her heart that she could not quite define. She cast her mind back to her dreams, but could remember nothing of them. And yet, there was a deep, unshakeable melancholy in the pit of her stomach that she could not rid herself of.

She got out of bed and slipped on her robe before seating herself at the vanity and beginning her morning routine. There was a bouquet of wildflowers there; beautiful ones, though for the life of her she could not remember where they had come from. Frowning slightly, she finished brushing her teeth and combing her hair before standing up and walking down the hall. Thea would certainly be awake already, and if anyone would be able to set her to rights it would be her beloved cousin.

It was a muted voice that bade her enter when Cat knocked on Thea’s door, and she was momentarily alarmed to find the younger woman sitting on her window seat with her legs tucked up against her chest and tears streaming down her cheeks. “Thea, what is wrong?” Cat rushed to her side, taking Thea’s trembling hands in her own and wiping away the tears. Her cousin had a bandage wrapped around her left forearm, and even through the layers of linen Cat could see the faint shadow of blood. “Are you alright? What has happened? I cannot shake the feeling that… that something is not right. That something horrible has happened.”

Thea took a deep breath, shaking her head even as she managed a small smile. “It is… it is nothing, Catkin,” she whispered.

“Just a bad dream.”


	2. Chapter 2

He woke up with a blinding headache.

He looked around, blinking in the summer sunshine, trying to get his bearings. He did not have the slightest idea where he was or, more alarming, _who_ he was. At his side was a satchel and a bow, the latter of rather exceptional make and clearly well-cared for. Frowning, he collected the items and stood up despite the protests of his limbs, cautiously stretching and taking in his surroundings. He was still in Ferelden, most like. Judging by the position of the sun and the green growth around him, he would guess he was somewhere in the southern part of the country, though that did not narrow it down much.

The first steps were difficult, but as the sun and the exertion warmed his stiff muscles the walking became easier and some of the fog cleared from his mind as he tried to sort through what he knew and what was still lost to him. He knew more or less where he was. He knew it was early summer, and he had a strong feeling he still knew how to use the bow on his back and the blades at his waist, so at least he would be able to defend himself. Granted, that was little comfort at the moment, given he still could not remember his own name, nor how he had ended up alone and unconscious in the forest.

With nothing useful coming to mind, he decided to simply travel north and hope he found civilization or, at the very least, some other sign of friendly life that might guide him to it. But as the hours wore on and he passed no one, he slowly became resigned to the idea that he might have to simply set up shelter for the night, and do his best to forage a meal. A rabbit, perhaps, or-

His thoughts were interrupted by the swift pounding of paws on the forest floor, and before he could properly react he was bowled over by an enthusiastic and very large mabari war hound. To his relief, however, the hound did not go for his throat or any other limb, but rather began a thorough job of licking his face and every other bit of exposed skin.

“Atticus! Atticus, down, damn it! Let the poor man up, you mutt!”

A man with sun blond hair and a sheepish expression on his face ran up in pursuit of the dog, who abandoned his attempts to bathe him to approach his master, tail wagging and tongue lolling about merrily as he trotted forward. “Maker’s breath man, I am sorry about that. Atticus is harmless, really. Never really took to the ‘war’ part of ‘mabari war hound,’ I’m afraid.”

“For which I am currently grateful,” he said, gingerly rising back to his feet and doing his best not to wince against the pain. “No er… no permanent harm done.”

The other man reached out a hand. “Cullen Rutherford,” he said by way of introduction. “I live in the village of South Reach, not far from here.”

“Pleasure to meet you, Ser Rutherford,” he said. “I am… well, I’ll be honest: I’ve not the slightest idea who I am, or how I ended up in this forest.”

Cullen offered a small smile. “It’s been some time since I was a ‘ser,’” he pointed out dryly. “Just ‘Cullen’ will be fine. But you say you have no memory at all?”

He shrugged. “I know I am in Ferelden. I know the season and the weapon at my back. Beyond that… nothing.”

“Hmm,” Cullen frowned thoughtfully. “I do not suppose there are any clues in that satchel you carry?”

He laughed. “I am embarrassed to admit I had not even thought to look.” He settled down on a nearby log and opened the bag he had found beside him. There was not much inside: a modest coin pouch, a whetstone, a set of lock picking tools, a bronze sextant, and a letter. The letter seemed to be the most promising, and he unfolded it with uncertain hands. To his surprise, there was something else tucked in the envelope. It was a beautiful golden ring, carved with wildflowers and set with glittering alexandrite stones, their purple hue sparking something in his memory he could not quite pin down, and so he instead turned his attention to the words on the page that had clearly been folded and unfolded many times.

_Dear Nate-_

_First off, you have some nerve acting as though_ I _were solely to blame for the incident in the orchard. I may have been the one aiming the apples, but you know perfectly well I would not have been able to get up into those trees without your help. Are you not the one always telling me I was built in miniature? And do not even pretend you did not know what I intended to do with them. How many years have we been best friends, you and I? Either way, I did not end up in so much trouble after all. You know how my aunt and uncle are, and they were perfectly aware your brother likely deserved worse. And… really, I was happy to take the blame. Better me than you. Better than if your father had found out._

_In any case, I am still counting the days until your next visit, and not only because you are the best person to aid me in my mischief. You are right: even based on the drawings the ring is absolutely stunning, and I am eager to see it in person. She is going to say yes, of course. Not that you had any doubt, I am sure, but please accept my additional reassurances. I am over the moons happy for both of you, and for the new life you will be able to have here with us. You’re already near enough my brother; this will just make introductions more convenient. Cousin-in-law will be grand, I think._

_And really, Nate, things have been deadly dull around here. I have read every book in the place at least twice, even the dreadful copper romance novels my aunt pretends she is too well-bred to read. And you ought to be proud of all the practice I have put in on the archery range, but even that grows tiresome. The great joy in my life right now is, of course, the anticipation of the new foal that is due to be born any day now. This one has been promised to me, and I admit I am beyond excited at the idea. This will be the first horse that is my own, and that I raise by my own hand. I am hopeful it will inherit its mother’s beautiful golden coat and her silver mane and tail, but of course only time will tell._

_Well, I think that is enough rambling for now. I would write more, but I want to get this to the courier before he leaves, and he will already be laden down with someone_ else’s _particularly long letter (three guesses as to who wrote that one) to you. Besides, you will be here within the month, and we can catch up amidst celebrating your engagement. Write back if you are able; it will brighten my day (though I best not admit that too loudly, lest people begin to think I might actually be_ happy _)._

_All my love,_

_Teddy_

“Well, as I do not strike myself as a ‘Teddy,’ I am going to take a wild guess that I may be the ‘Nate’ in this letter,” he said slowly. “And this Teddy, whoever they are, is apparently my best friend? Though I cannot say I remember them. Though from the sound of this letter,” he smiled slightly, “We certainly had fun together. And apparently, I…” his smile faltered, “I was going to be engaged. To their cousin?”

“I’m sorry, Nate,” Cullen offered. “I admit, I do not know of anyone by that name in South Reach or the surrounding areas. Listen, why don’t you come back to the village with me? I run a clinic there, a sort of halfway house for ex-templars trying to wean themselves off of lyrium. Not too many patients at the moment so we have plenty of room. Perhaps things will look better after a hot meal and a good night’s rest?”

“I would hate to impose,” Nate began, but Cullen held up a hand to silence his protests.

“It would not be an imposition. Besides, Elina loves having people to feed. Come on.” He tossed his head in the direction Atticus was already trotting off in and, not really having any other appealing options, Nate followed.

When they arrived at the clinic on the outskirts of the village, Cullen directed him to a cozy cottage on the edge of the property. When they entered, they were greeted by a charming young woman with rich, dark chestnut hair and sparkling eyes. “Ah! You’ve brought a guest for dinner! And perfect timing, too,” she announced, neatly setting a third place at the table without missing a beat. “I just pulled the bread from the oven, and the stew should be ready any moment now.”

Cullen laughed, neatly pulling the woman into his arms and pressing a kiss to her cheek. “Elina, love, this is Nate. He is having… well, a bit of an identity crisis at the moment. Hasn’t got a clue who he is beyond the name, and even that we had to gather from a letter in his satchel. Nate, this is my wife, Elina.”

“Please to meet you,” Nate nodded. “And I am sincerely grateful for the hospitality. I am still rather shaken by everything.”

“Understandable,” Elina replied with a sympathetic smile. “Well, let us start with a good meal. You must be starving. How long were you wandering about in the woods before Cullen found you?”

“Strictly speaking, dear, Atticus found him,” Cullen pointed out. “I swear that dog has all the instincts of an overgrown puppy.”

“Ohhh, he does not mean that, does he?” Elina reassured the dog, who had taken up a place as near to the table as he could get without actually resting his head on it. “You are a brave boy.”

Nate smiled despite himself. “I estimate I must have been out there for four, perhaps five hours? Based on the movement of the sun, at least. I had nearly given myself up for lost when Atticus found me so, really, I am grateful he decided to lick first and ask questions later.”

“You see, Cull?” Elina grinned. “Downright useful, he is.”

Cullen just laughed and began serving up the stew. After they had eaten and Nate had answered Elina’s questions as bet he could, Cullen showed him to a small guest room. It was cozy, but neat and cheerful, and the bed was soft and comforting after his time in the woods. Nate fell into it and was asleep before he could spend too much time agonizing over his current predicament.

————————————————————— 

“You were right to bring him back here.”

Cullen nodded slowly, accepting the hand his wife offered him and lacing his fingers with hers. “I could hardly leave him out there, ‘Lina. The poor man did not even remember his own name. I cannot even begin to imagine what his fiancé must be going through, or his best friend.”

Elina was quiet for a moment, then asked, “Cullen? You do not think… I mean, your friends in Highever. Cat and Thea?”

Cullen frowned for a moment, thinking, then shook his head. “Doubtful,” he sighed. “Thea tolerates precious few people. Void, she still barely tolerates me. And if Cat were engaged, there surely would have been an announcement of some sort. That is the third most powerful family in Ferelden, behind only the Theirins and the Mac Tirs and, really, if Anora Mac Tir was not in line to be queen, it would probably be a dead tie. I had not even heard of Cataline courting anyone, and I just had a letter from her a month ago.”

Elina sighed. “You are probably right,” she conceded. “I suppose I was just hopeful. He has lost everything, you know?”

“I know.”

They both stared into the fire for a while, and then Elina spoke up again. “You know, Cull, this could be an answer to our prayers. We have been desperate for help around here. We cannot run the clinic by ourselves anymore, not without someone else to share the load. It has been the void trying to hire anyone capable out here, but if he is willing…”

Cullen nodded slowly. “And if he has nowhere else to go… yes, it could work. I will speak with him in the morning, see what he says. If nothing else, if he is willing to stay on for a while it would at least buy us time to hire permanent help.”

“Or, who knows,” Elina shrugged, “He may well decide to stay.”

——————————————————– 

“I am not going to lie, Nate,” Cullen said, “We would not be able to pay you much, and it is not easy work. But you would have a roof over your head and you would be welcome to share our meals, and it would give you some time to regroup. And it would be damn useful for us to have a decent hunter around, a third person who can help with some of the heavy lifting.”

Nate thought for a moment. It was a good offer. Honestly, better than anything else he was likely to get in his current state. And Cullen was right: it would buy him some time to figure things out. Worst case scenario, he would be able to set aside a little coin and eventually move on to one of the bigger cities and try his luck there. He had precious few clues, but perhaps it would be enough given the right questions and the right connections and no small bit of blind luck. But for now…

“I am grateful,” he said, offering his hosts a small smile. “If you are sure I will be of use to you…”

“We are sure,” Elina interrupted firmly with a warm smile of her own.

“Then…” Nate hesitated, then reached out his hand and shook Cullen’s.

“Then I accept.”

——————————————————– 

Years passed. Nate did his best to make himself useful and to prove himself worthy of the kindness and generosity of his hosts: he hunted regularly, and learned enough smithing and carpentry to make basic repairs around the clinic. He eventually set aside enough coin to buy a small plot of land of his own not too far from the Rutherford’s, and with the help of his neighbors he built a cozy cottage of his own. Nearly a decade had gone by since Cullen and Atticus had found him in the woods, and in that time he was no closer to finding the answers he had been asking the entire time.

In time, life in the village of South Reach became familiar, and with that familiarity came restlessness. Nate mostly kept to himself, and once the initial curiosity of the villagers wore off he was more or less treated as one of them, albeit a slightly standoffish one. But despite the fact he had more or less made a place for himself there, had made a life for himself, Nate could not help but feel as though something was still missing. His memory, for one, but it was _more_ than that. Nate felt as though his heart had been hollowed out, and he still did not know why.

He had read and re-read the letter found in his satchel that day more times than he could count, desperately looking for some clue he had yet to find. Any time a traveling merchant or knight came through the village, Nate sought them out to ask if they knew of any ‘Teddy,’ or even of a young woman whose intended had gone missing. It was to no avail. No one he spoke to ever had any answers, and after all this time, he had nearly given up hope. Not entirely, however, and for some reason he still could not explain he had taken to wearing the engagement ring he had found on a chain around his neck.

“You know, Nate,” Elina spoke up casually, handing over a bowl of bread dough to be kneaded, “Perhaps it is time to consider one of the village girls. There is that blonde elven woman who makes eyes at you every time you pass…”

Nate gave a brief snort of skepticism. “Glares, more like,” he retorted. “I appreciate your concern, Elina, but really I am perfectly happy on my own.”

She smiled, but there was a tinge of concern still in her eyes, and she looked as though she were about to say something more when Cullen entered the farmhouse, a stack of letters in his hand. He held up one that was printed on particularly fine paper and addressed in deep, midnight blue ink.

“We’ve word from Gwaren,” he announced. “You will never guess who is getting married.”

“Thea and Loghain,” Elina replied with a shrug, and her husband seemed momentarily put out at having his thunder stolen.

“How in the void did you know that?”

Elina gave a brief snort. “Who else do we know in Gwaren? Besides, those two and their relationship is the worst kept secret in the country. They have been living together for the past two years, which you would know if you read between the lines in her letters, and I suspect this is largely a formality. I saw them together the last time I went to visit, and they are hopeless for each other. He is good for her. They are good for each other. Queen Anora must be over the moons. She is the one who introduced them, you know-”

“Well, now we have been invited to the wedding,” Cullen sighed in muted exasperation before his face settled into something thoughtful. “It will be good to see Cat and Thea again. It has been some years since we have all been together.”

“Mmm,” Elina hummed in agreement, wiping her hands on her apron and neatly swiping the invitation from her husband’s hands. “We have some time to make the necessary arrangements here. And we really ought to make sure our formal attire fits properly. Nate, when was the last time you saw a tailor?”

“Wait, what?” Nate frowned. “I am not going with you… I can’t go with you. Someone needs to stay here and watch over things, and I very much doubted I was invited and, therefore, I very much doubt I would be welcome.”

“Nonsense,” Elina waved off his protestations. “The invitation was quite specifically addressed to the Rutherford _household_. And if you knew Thea as I do, you would know she has a reason for what she does. In this case, I take it to mean everyone in our household is invited, which includes you, Nate.”

“Besides,” Cullen spoke back up, “I think you will like Cat and Thea, and Loghain too. Come to think of it,” he rubbed the back of his neck briefly, “You and Thea are quite a bit alike. She has that same dry sense of humor and snark. Unquestionably brilliant, but her mouth occasionally works faster than even her mind. A lot of fun though, if she decides she likes you. Eventually.”

Nate raised an eyebrow. “Eventually?”

Cullen rolled his eyes. “Ah, well… for the first year or so I knew her, she referred to me as a ‘self-righteous, pompous, chantry goon who would not know justice if it bit me in the ass’.”

Nate snorted, and Elina laughed brightly. “And she was right,” she pointed out.

“That was the worst part,” Cullen rolled his eyes. “And Cat…” He exchanged a brief smile with Elina.

“Cat is special.”

Nate tilted his head, openly curious now. “Special how, exactly?”

Elina grinned.

“You’ll see.”


	3. Chapter 3

She woke up in a cold sweat.

Cat scrubbed at her eyes, desperate to banish not only the tears from her eyes, but the last dregs of the dreams from her mind. It had been years since she’d had this particular dream, but in the past month they had been back in startling, vivid detail. It was not a nightmare. Honestly, a nightmare would have been easier to deal with. Rather, it made her feel things she had never felt in her waking world, and being forced to leave it behind with the dawn was painful.

She was always back in Highever, in her dream. In the meadows leading to the forest and, eventually, down to the sea. There was a crown of wildflowers in her hair, and the day was warm and the breeze gentle. She was laughing and chasing after someone; someone who always seemed to be just out of reach. Someone who would finally stop and catch her up in his arms, his lips moving to meet hers…

And that was always when she woke up, much to her incredible frustration. The dream was always inconveniently hazy. There was always something that kept her from seeing the face of the man in her dreams. She wondered if it was a memory she could not quite grasp, or simply wishful thinking on her part. Either way, she knew better than to keep clinging to a mystery dream man that probably did not exist.

With a heavy sigh, she rolled out of bed and began preparing for the day.

There was still a great deal to do before the wedding. They had a week remaining to prepare, and of course her darling cousin was doing little to make the process easier. Had Thea and Loghain had their way, they would have eloped and simply come back to Gwaren and announced the fact. To their minds, they were already hopelessly in love and sharing their life, and the marriage itself was simply a commitment of that fact. They _wanted_ to be married. They simply did not want the long, elaborate ceremony that went with it.

But the fact remained that he was the teyrn of Gwaren and the father of the queen of Ferelden, and she was an adopted daughter of House Cousland and a Trevelyan by blood. Some protocol had to be followed, and Cat had gone to great lengths to explain this to the couple, before finally giving up and recruiting Anora to put her foot down and insist on a proper wedding. Thea had put up all manner of grumbling about the vengeance she would take while planning Cataline’s wedding, but had ultimately acquiesced. She usually did, when Cat was concerned. A sweet smile and an iron tone usually did the trick.

Cat slipped out of her nightdress and into her clothes for the day while mentally ticking tasks off in her mind. _Confirm the catering order with Leliana… make sure Merrill has the flowers ready for the bouquets and the reception hall… see to it Thea actually makes it to her dress fitting this time…_

Thea had tried, unsuccessfully, to point out that Cat did not need to handle so many of the tasks that, by rights, ought to have been handled by her, but Cat had insisted and Thea had not fought all that hard. Cat enjoyed the planning, and having something to do to break up the regular day to day of her work with Seawolf & Steed. The family trading empire was a full-time job, even sharing the load with Thea and Thea’s birth sister, Margot, but Cat loved it. Even still, having something new and joyful to distract her was welcome. She exhaled slowly.

_Especially after nights like last night_.

Perhaps the most utterly frustrating part of all of this was that there was no good reason or explanation for Cataline Cousland to be unhappy or to be having such heartbreaking dreams. She had a wonderful family who adored her, including the cousin and soon to be cousin-in-law she had moved in with at their invitation. She had many friends all over the world, a fulfilling and satisfying job, and plenty of hobbies that kept her mind and body engaged. Her life was good. Better than good, really. She was so lucky in so many ways, and yet…

And yet there was always the dream. There was always the promise of something more. A love so deep and passionate and _hers_. To experience it, even in the fade, and then to have it torn away from her with the dawn… it was torture.

It was not as if she had never been kissed. There had been clumsy, half-hearted attempts and a reasonable number of suitors who had come to Highever seeking the hand of the Cousland daughters. They had given Thea great sport, and Cat had very nearly felt sorry for most of them. A few she had not. Her parents had always given both girls a great deal of leeway when it came to choosing their potential partners. Fergus, the heir apparent to Highever, had already settled down with a lovely Antivan woman and given them their first (and only) grandchild, but Cat knew her parents worried for her. They had been knocked for a loop when Thea announced that not only had she fallen in love with Teyrn Mac Tir, but that he had asked her to marry him and she had accepted. However, they had also been quietly relieved their adopted daughter had found someone that suited her, and that she had not run off with the pirate queen she had spent one of her earlier summers with.

And thank the Maker, but it had bought Cat some breathing room. Bryce and Eleanor had been so happy that their youngest was engaged that it had distracted them, at least for the moment, from thoughts of Cat and her future.

She knew her parents only wanted her to be happy, but Cat still had not found the words to explain to them why she wasn’t. She felt as though there were a hollow in the place of her heart; had felt that way for nearly a decade, and she still could not for the life of her puzzle out _why_. And so every man that came to court her was gently turned away, because not a single one of them made her feel the way she did with the man she met in the fade. Only Thea remained pragmatic about Cat’s prospects. Cat knew her cousin and adopted sister would never press her to accept a man whom she was not enthusiastic about, and had in fact been a fierce protector of Cat.

After all, it had been Thea who had finally solved the problem of Thomas.

Cat shuddered at the memory. Rendon Howe was one of Bryce’s oldest friends, but her father was the only one who could really stomach the other man. By Bryce’s account, Rendon had once been a very different person. Had, in fact, served with distinction during the Fereldan War for Independence. Cat could not speak to that. All she knew was that the man made her skin crawl, and his son was worse. She had been close to his daughter, Delilah, but in a rare show of defiance the Howe daughter had run away from home and married a merchant somewhere in the city of Amaranthine and been subsequently disowned by her father. That left his son and heir, Thomas.

Thomas was four years younger than Cat and had, in fact, initially been pursuing Queen Anora herself after the tragic death of Cailan during the war. In the chaos that followed and the calls by some of the nobility for Teyrn Loghain’s head, Rendon Howe had seen an opportunity and pushed forward his son as a potential husband for the widowed queen. Nora, however, had no interest in being shoved back into the shadows or forced into the role of silent queen once again, and she rejected not only Thomas but all other suitors wholeheartedly claiming, much to their irritation, that none of them could attain the high standard to which she measured them: that of her father. Loghain had always found this amusing, and Thea had nearly doubled over laughing when Nora told them at dinner one evening.

Having been summarily rejected by Anora, Thomas had then begun pursuing Cataline. After all, the Couslands were the second most powerful family in Ferelden, second only to the Mac Tirs themselves, and that was largely because a Mac Tir currently held the throne and a Mac Tir controlled the valuable port teyrnir of Gwaren. Cat had refused him, of course, but Thomas, almost certainly goaded on by his father, refused to take no for an answer. He had cornered Cat during one of her early visits to Gwaren, before she had moved there full-time, and had been fully prepared to assault her and thus ‘ruin’ her for anyone else.

Fortunately for Cat, and deeply unfortunately for Thomas, Thea found them. She had broken Thomas’s nose, knocked out three teeth, and blackened one eye before Loghain finally intervened and pulled her off the younger man. The fact the teyrn ‘accidentally’ broke at least two of Thomas’s ribs in the process was not lost on Cat, nor was the fact that all of Gwaren’s healers were conveniently ‘busy’ for an entire day before the Howe scion was finally seen to. Thea had raged on Cat’s behalf, and Loghain had in turn brought his complaints to his daughter. Horrified at the treatment of her friends, Nora had publicly denounced Thomas and stripped him of any current or future titles. He would never inherit the arling of Amaranthine.

Cat still feared what Rendon would do in retaliation. She knew him to be a small, petty, evil-minded man and she had no doubt he was still seething over his perceived mistreatment of his beloved son, but for now she knew she was safe. And right at the moment, she had work to do. Pinning up her long, ginger braid in a pretty knot at the nape of her neck, she stood and exited her room to begin her day. She had not even made it to the dining hall when she was summoned by a polite yet firm call. Cat turned, a pleasant smile already on her lips.

“Let me guess: Thea has not arrived for her fitting.”

“Astute as always, Lady Cataline,” Vivienne replied smoothly, though Cat could detect a slight undercurrent of irritation in the other woman’s tone. “I do love the dear, but she is dancing on my last nerve with this. I went through the trouble of sending for my best seamstresses and personally helping her to design a gown that would please her, and now she cannot be bothered to keep her appointments.”

“I am certain it is not personal, Vivienne,” Cat reassured her, and Vivienne raised one perfectly manicured brow in her direction.

“Of course it isn’t, my dear,” she replied, as though that much were perfectly obvious. “But it is irritating, and it is wasting my time. Would you kindly see if you can track her down? You know her habits here better than I do.”

Cat nodded. “Of course. I will send her to you as soon as I find her.”

Vivienne nodded her thanks, then turned her attention back to the gown of midnight blue silk and golden embroidery that was currently sitting on a mannequin. It was really a beautiful dress: short, fitted sleeves that left the shoulders bare, and a flowing skirt with the golden wyvern of Gwaren flanked by the laurels of Highever embroidered on the train and crowned by a series of shimmering stars. And of course, because Thea had had a hand in the design, it was cut scandalously low in the front, and a large portion of the back had been left bare.

Cat could not help but grin. The dress was going to raise more than a few eyebrows, which was exactly what Thea intended. She had a fair idea of where she would be able to find the younger woman, and headed out towards the archery range that was set up behind the castle. Sure enough, when she looked downrange to the targets, there was a cluster of arrows pinned neatly in the center of all three targets. The bow, however, had been abandoned on the ground, and its owner was currently wrapped in the arms of her future husband, her lips pressed firmly to his and clearly oblivious to the rest of the world. Cat made a small coughing noise as she approached, and Thea turned around reluctantly.

“’Morning, Cat,” she said. “Sleep well?”

“Well enough,” Cat replied evenly. “Forgetting something, are we Thea?”

Thea stared at her blankly for a moment, then smacked her hand to her forehead. “Oh, damn… my dress fitting. Vivienne must be spitting hot coals, isn’t she?”

“Not quite,” Cat laughed quietly. “Though your chances of _not_ receiving a tongue-lashing will increase significantly if you hurry up and get yourself inside.”

She gave an exaggerated sigh. “This is your own fault, Catkin,” Thea accused as she walked over to pick up her bow where she had dropped it. “We wanted to elope. Would have been perfectly happy running off to some backwater chantry and…”

“Theadosia,” Loghain finally spoke up, taking the bow from her and wrapping an arm around her waist, “As much as I know you despise dress fittings, I also know you would not deprive me of the opportunity to employ all the inventive and creative ways I have come up with to get you _out_ of that dress after the ceremony.”

Thea could not hide the smile that tilted at her lips. “That, my love, is cheating,” she protested, arching up onto her toes to brush a kiss to his cheek.

“Damned effective though,” he pointed out. “Go on,” he nudged her gently in the direction of the castle. “I will finish collecting things here and I will see you at lunch.”

Thea flashed them one more half-smile, then sauntered off. “Thank you, Loghain,” Cat spoke quietly as they watched Thea head back towards the castle. “If Vivienne does not get that dress finished your lovely bride will be walking down the aisle in her riding leathers.”

He gave a brief snort. “Careful how loud you say that, Cataline, or she may just take you up on it. And to be honest…” he glanced in the direction Thea had gone, “I am rather looking forward to seeing her in it. She could wear a burlap sack and still be the most stunning woman in the world, but still. Here,” he tossed his head downrange. “Help me collect these arrows, would you?”

She followed, though she knew it was a ruse. It was hardly a two-person task, so Loghain must have wanted to speak to her about something. Sure enough, when they had reached the targets he spoke up quietly. “Would you like to tell me why you have not been sleeping?”

Cat paused for a moment, then shrugged. “What makes you think I have not been sleeping?”

“I was a general for many years before they finally kicked me out,” he pointed out dryly. “I know what exhaustion looks like on a hardened soldier, which means it is even more obvious on you. Theadosia is worried.”

She sighed, handing over the last of the arrows and trailing him back to the shed where they kept the equipment before leaning up against a fence post beside him. “The dream is back,” she finally admitted. “More nights than not, over the past month or so.”

“Hmm,” Loghain hummed noncommittally. “Any idea why they are cropping up again now?”

Cat shook her head in frustration. “Not the slightest. Stress, perhaps? Adrenaline about the upcoming wedding?”

Loghain turned to look at her, a single brow raised, and Cat threw up her hands. “I know. I do not buy those excuses either. I think…” Her brow furrowed, and her shoulders slumped. “I envy you, you know that? You and Thea. The love you have. The two of you are the most unexpected pair I could think of, and yet you are perfect together. I see the way you two look at each other, and I just…” 

She hesitated, debating whether she wanted to speak her fears aloud. “I just worry I will never find that,” she finally whispered. “I worry that it is time for me to face reality and… well, settle. Find a man who will make my parents proud, that Thea will at least tolerate, and that will make me happy enough. To do what is expected of me, rather than hope and wait for something that may never come. That may not even exist.”

He was quiet for a long moment, staring off past the range towards the raging Amaranthine Ocean. When he finally spoke, it was not what Cat expected. “You know, I was barely twenty years old when Maric made me teyrn of Gwaren. It was a crumbling ruin of a city, still torn and ravaged from the Orlesian occupation, and he expected me to fix it. Expected me to become a nobleman despite the fact I had been raised a farmer’s son. I took one look at the place and gave up, focusing my efforts on rebuilding the harbor so we could at least resume trade. Some of the townsfolk were less than pleased with that decision, including one very outspoken young woman named Celia, who came to me shouting about responsibility and nobility.”

“Two months after that argument, I married her,” Loghain said, his voice still soft and distant. “And nine months after that, Anora was born. We were young, and impetuous, and we believed we were doing what we were supposed to be doing. What we were _expected_ to do. And make no mistake: Celia was a good teyrna. She arguable did more to rebuild her home than I did, especially since I was away in Denerim more often than not, and we truly did care for each other in our own way. The best we could, at least. By the time we realized we had made a mistake, it was too late. We had grown so distant that we were functionally strangers by the end.” His eyes turned to the ground. “It was not until she was dying that I realized how unhappy we had become. How utterly selfish I had been, and what the cost of doing what was expected of me had truly been.”

Cat reached out a hand to Loghain, and he accepted the gesture, squeezing it gently. “Two years after she died, I met Theadosia again at court. The first time we had met, it had ended in a shouting match. Odd, how both women I have married yelled at me the first time I met them. Wonder what that says about me.” Cat giggled at that, and Loghain looked down with a small smile before continuing. “This time, however… I already knew she was special. I knew that the first day I met her. But seeing her again, eloquently and devastatingly lecturing Eamon Guerrin about something or another, storm blue eyes flashing and an ever-so-slightly arrogant tilt to her chin…” Loghain sighed. “I knew then I loved her. And it was the most beautiful and terrifying thing I had ever felt.”

Cat looked up at him, curious. “Why?”

Loghain thought for a long moment, then said softly, “Because it was _real_ , Cataline. Because for the first time in my life, I was well and truly in love. It was a choice made of my heart, not of my sense of duty. And the day I asked her to marry me, it was because I knew I could not bear to spend another day of my life not promised to her, and not because it was expected of me.”

They both fell silent then, and Cat felt a surge of something in her belly she could not quite explain until Loghain squeezed her hand once more. “You are a remarkable woman, Cat,” he pointed out, “And you deserve to be with someone who recognizes that; who appreciates it as it ought to be appreciated. And you should never, _never_ settle, because you deserve to feel about your partner the way I do about Theadosia and, equally important, you deserve to have someone feel that way about you.”

Cat turned and wrapped Loghain in a tight hug. He seemed momentarily taken aback, but then returned the gesture, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. “My cousin is a very lucky woman, Loghain,” Cat said.

He gave a quiet chuckle. “I would argue I am the lucky one,” he countered, “But I appreciate it nevertheless. In the meantime, I should probably get back to work. Will you let me know if any guests show up I need to greet personally?”

“So, none of them?” Cat asked with deceptive innocence, and Loghain gave a sharp bark of laughter.

“You see, Cataline?” He asked heading back in the direction of the keep.

“This is why I like you.”


	4. Chapter 4

It had been a long journey to Gwaren, and Nate was beyond ready to be off his horse and back on solid ground for a stretch of time longer than an hour, and to perhaps sleep in a bed that was not fitted with a lumpy mattress. They had been invited to stay in Castle Gwaren itself, and he had been reassured the beds there were perfectly comfortable. Which was good, as he was not certain he would last the following week on as little sleep as he had been getting. Aside from the general discomfort, his dreams had been… unsettled. He could not quite pinpoint why, exactly, as they had fled as soon as he woke in the morning, but whatever he had faced in the fade had left his heart aching and his mind frustrated.

As they approached the doors to the keep, they swung open and a stunning young woman dashed out, long auburn hair flying behind her and storm-blue eyes sparkling. She was followed by a tall, broad-shouldered man with obsidian dark hair and piercing blue eyes who, while more reserved than the woman, did not seem displeased to see them. The trio dismounted, and Cullen laughed as the woman stopped short in front of them, hands on her hips as she studied him.

“Hm. Country life suits you, doesn’t it Cull?” She asked with a half-smile tilting at her lips. “You almost look happy. Give it another decade and you might become so content I may not even recognize you.”

Cullen smiled at her. “And I see running a teyrnir has done little to stop you from scampering about like a heathen. I nearly fainted when Lina told me you had consented to wear a dress.”

She tilted her chin up in a show of defiance. “Is that any way to address a future teyrna, Ser Rutherford?”

“A thousand apologies,” Cullen gave an exaggerated bow, “My _Lady_ Heathen.”

“Much better,” Thea broke out in laughter, striding forward and grasping Cullen’s forearm warmly before embracing Elina. “Andraste take me but it is good to see you again.”

“And you too, Thea,” Elina grinned before turning and bowing slightly. “And you as well, Teyrn Mac Tir.”

“We are pleased you were able to make the journey,” Loghain said, his tone strong but quiet. Then, he turned to face Nate, his gaze revealing very little save for the briefest and faintest shadow of surprise. He placed a gentle hand on his fiancée’s back, prompting her to shift her attention.

When Thea looked back at him, Nate would have sworn she had seen a ghost. Her fair skin paled even further, and her eyes flashed wide for just a breath of time. This was odd enough in and of itself, but it was not the most unsettling part: what startled _him_ was that in that same moment, he could have sworn he recognized her. Which was impossible, of course. Wasn’t it?

She seemed to recover first, blinking her eyes once and reverting back to her previous demeanor. “And this must be the young man you mentioned bringing?”

“I apologize for the intrusion, my Lady,” Nate bowed slightly, his mind still slightly off kilter.

“Nonsense,” she shrugged, extending a hand to his and shaking it warmly. “It is a pleasure to finally meet you. Nate, correct?”

“Yes, my Lady,” he affirmed, and he noted just the slightest change in the small smile that graced her features. It seemed almost… _warmer_ , somehow, for all that it had not widened or brightened.

“Be welcome in Gwaren, Nate of South Reach. I am Theadosia Trevelyan,” she said, inclining her head in his direction, then gesturing towards Loghain. “And this is my fiancé, Teyrn Loghain Mac Tir.”

“It is good to finally meet you, Nate,” the other man said, his tone still quiet and almost thoughtful. “We have had mention of you in Elina’s letters, of course, and even I admit to a certain curiosity as to your identity.”

Nate almost felt as if he were being appraised, though he could not say for what purpose. He stood there awkwardly, wondering what in the void he was suppose to say next, when every single thought and word managed to flee his mind in a single, breathtaking instant. 

Coming from the castle, dressed in a simple yet perfectly fitted linen gown embroidered with wildflowers and shining like the warmth of the sunrise itself, was the single most beautiful woman Nate had ever seen in his life. She was slightly taller than Thea, and her hair was a glimmering copper in the early morning sunshine. Her eyes sparkled a beautiful shade of violet, and her smile had him utterly forgetting how to breathe.

He did not believe in love at first sight; thought it was about the stupidest concept he had ever heard of, but whatever he was feeling right now came pretty damn close.

If his hosts were offended by his sudden and complete distraction, they did not show it. In fact, if Nate did not know any better he would almost say Thea looked oddly satisfied with the turn of events. “Ah, yes. Nate, may I present my cousin and adoptive sister, Lady Cataline Cousland of Highever.”

He finally convinced his feet to work and took a few careful steps forward, bowing before Cataline and gently taking her hand in his own before brushing a kiss over it. It may have been wishful thinking, but he could swear he felt the pulse in her wrist quicken as he did so. “It is a pleasure to meet you, Lady Cataline,” he said, not trusting his voice to manage much more.

“I am so please to finally meet you, Nate,” she replied in the sweetest voice he had ever heard. “Cullen and Elina have both spoken so highly of you, and it is a joy to finally have a face to put to their descriptions.”

He straightened so that he was looking at her once more, and in her face he could swear he saw the sun itself in her delicate features. She was still smiling at him, and it seemed as though she were no more inclined to draw her attention from him than he was from her. Much as he had with Thea, he had the nagging, insistent feeling that he _ought_ to know her; that he ought to remember her. That she meant something to him. His thoughts flit briefly to the ring he still wore on a chain around his neck, with the wildflower etching and the violet gemstones…

“Nate, since I imagine you have never been to Gwaren before, please allow me to show you to your room,” Thea offered, and though the words were perfectly polite it was clearly an instruction rather than a request. She tucked her arm neatly through his then, before he could protest, guided him towards the castle proper.

“Careful,” Loghain called out after them. “She bites.”

Thea paused long enough to shoot a smile over her shoulder. “I have never heard you complain, love,” she replied airily, and to Nate’s surprise Loghain actually smiled at that, shaking his head slightly as he returned his attention back to Cullen and Elina. Nate cast one finally glance back towards Cataline, who seemed disappointed to see him leave, or perhaps that was more wishful thinking on his part.

“Do not worry, Nate,” Thea laughed quietly at his side, keeping her voice low. “I simply want to get to know you a bit better. I promise, I will personally see to it that you have plenty of time to spend with Cat. Alone, as often as I can manage it.”

“You’re…” he looked down at her, frowning slightly. “You’re serious, my Lady?”

“Of course I am.” She shrugged as if it ought to be obvious. “What, you think I did not see the way the two of you looked at each other? Assuming I do not find you to be an absolute ass,” she looked up at him with a look of skeptical appraisal, “Which I think is unlikely, I see no reason not to help you. Oh, and please,” she said as they began ascending a staircase, “Just call me Thea. If I decide I dislike you we can revisit formalities, but as it stands I think we are going to be friends, so just Thea is fine. Loghain calls me Theadosia, but he is the only one I allow that from.”

Nate followed her down a corridor, his head spinning. “You… I… you want us to be friends?”

She looked back at him, tilting her head to one side. “Should we not be?”

“No… I mean, yes… I… I am feeling very, very dizzy,” he admitted, and her expression softened just a fraction.

“Come on,” she guided him gently into a suite of rooms and helped him settle on a sofa facing a large picture window leading out to a small balcony. She poured him a cup of water from a pitcher, then handed it to him before sitting down cross-legged beside him and patiently waiting for him to speak again.

“Apologies, my la- Thea,” Nate said, taking a deep breath. “I am not used to much conversation these days. And I cannot help feeling an intense sense of memory here, though I cannot remember ever coming to the teyrnir, or of meeting you or Lady Cataline.”

Thea bit her lower lip, then nodded slowly. “No… no I believe either I or Loghain would have remembered you coming to Gwaren,” she agreed carefully. She did not dispute the second part of his statement, but before he could press the issue she continued. “And there is no apology necessary, save for one I perhaps owe you. Nearly anyone else will warn you of my reticence and my… well, my sharp personality. It has been a very long time I have been comfortable with someone other than my fiancé, my cousin, or my closest friends.”

“Thea, you have known me for all of ten minutes,” Nate prodded quietly, though he was alarmed to slip so easily into using her given name. “Why… why _do_ you trust me so easily?”

She looked at him intently, studying him. “I do not have an answer for that right now, Nate,” she finally said, and he could not help but notice that she seemed to be holding something back. “I trust precious few people. And please, do not feel as though you are on trial: you are not required to tell me anything you do not wish to. My promise remains the same.”

“Well,” he replied slowly, “What would you like to know?”

“Hmm.” Her brow furrowed in thought. “You truly remember nothing of your life before Cullen found you in South Reach?”

“Not a damn thing,” he confirmed. “It was odd…. I still had skills, and I knew how the world worked and had a rough idea of where I was, but as far as _who_ I was or where I had come from? Nothing.”

“Then you have my sympathy, for whatever that might be worth,” Thea offered. To his surprise, she did not probe any further, or demand more information regarding his mysterious memory loss. She seemed to simply accept it, which was honestly more odd than if she had been nosy. “And are you happy in South Reach?”

That was a trickier question. “I know I am very fortunate,” he replied, choosing his words with care. “I have been able to build a life there, over the years, and the Rutherfords have been very kind to me.”

“But you still feel as though there is something more out there,” Thea filled in quietly, speaking aloud the words he had not been able to. He nodded.

“Yes,” he agreed. “I have always felt as if a part of me was missing, and no matter how fulfilling the rest of my life was, there was always going to be that emptiness. That… that loneliness.”

She reached out a hand and, to his own surprise, he took it. “I do not find that so odd,” she replied, her tone surprisingly gentle. “Though… though perhaps you may find some comfort while you are here. Now, you have indulged my curiosity. Is there anything you would ask of me?”

Nate considered for a moment, then offered her a small smile. “Tell me about your fiancé.”

Thea laughed brightly. “An interesting starting point, but not unexpected I suppose, given that our relationship is… well, unconventional,” she said before her expression turned thoughtful. “Loghain Mac Tir is stubborn, stoic, sardonic, sarcastic, and has only a hair more patience than I do.” She paused, and a smile tilted at the corners of her lips. “He is also unquestionably brilliant, both on the battlefield and off. When it suits him, he can be remarkably charismatic: there is a reason he was such an effective general. He is fiercely loyal, devoted, passionate, has a wonderfully dry sense of humor much like my own, and though he will deny it, he can be incredibly romantic when he has a mind to be.” Her smile widened into a grin. “And he is _unbelievably_ good in bed.”

He snorted, amused and yet somehow not surprised by the honesty of her answer. “I imagine it would take an exceptional man or woman to appreciate you properly,” he replied, and by her burst of laughter he knew she was amused rather than offended by the layers of meaning in the statement.

“True enough,” she agreed, wiping a tear of mirth from her eye. “Now, if I have succeeded in putting you a bit more at ease, would you like to ask me about the subject I suspect you _truly_ would like to know more about?”

“I did not… I did not wish to seem rude,” Nate protested, fumbling slightly over the words. Andraste’s blood, even _thinking_ about Cataline made him tongue-tied. “Nor did I wish to seem too forward. Your cousin is a noble lady and I do not even have a last name.”

“That you are aware of,” Thea corrected evenly. “Nate, I set the bar fairly high on shock value when I announced my engagement, if I do say so myself. You will have to try much harder to offend me or my kin if the best you currently have to offer is an unfortunate gap in your memory.”

Nate looked at her for a moment, then sighed and she gently squeezed his hand again. “Thea? Tell me about Cataline.”

“Finally,” she replied with exaggerated exasperation, then straightened a bit as though she were about to deliver a speech or lecture. “Cataline Alexandria Cousland is the second child of Teyrn Bryce and Teyrna Eleanor Cousland of Highever. She has one older brother, Fergus, and one nephew, Oren.”

“You said she was your adopted sister,” Nate interrupted briefly. “How?”

Thea shrugged. “My parents were awful,” she said, the words blunt but with no particular sadness or malice. “My older sister, Margot, was the planned heir and I was an unwanted extra. Margot raised me for the first seven years of my life, then Bryce and Eleanor took me in. Formally adopted me when my parents died, which was truly a formality at that point. They have long considered me their youngest. Anyways,” she pressed on, “Cat just turned thirty on 17 Bloomingtide. She has the gentlest heart I have ever known, and the patience of Andraste herself. She even rescues spiders and shoos them outside, even though they frighten her a bit. But _never_ mistake that sweet nature for weakness,” Thea warned. “Cat has a will of steel, and she is fiercely protective of her family. She is incredibly intelligent, and she has a gift for knowing when to apply pressure and when to use a softer touch.”

“She has a remarkable gift for gardening and all things green which,” Thea wrinkled her nose delicately, “I admit I envy. My fiancé and I tend to kill plants simply by looking at them. She has a lovely singing voice and is exceedingly well-read, and she is a fair horsewoman as well. She dislikes roses and adores wildflowers.”

She thought for a moment, then in a softer tone she said, “Cat is one of the only people I trust completely, and that is saying something, Nate. She is not only my family, she is my one of my closest friends, and one of the only people who has loved me completely and unconditionally my entire life. Even with my, well, unique and sparkling personality. I can count on both hands the number of people I can confidently say that about. And I will do anything to protect her. I tell you this not as a threat; simply as a fact.”

“You are so certain of my intentions?” Nate asked quietly. “Of my honor?”

“Yes,” Thea replied simply.

Nate stared at her for a moment. “How?” He asked, more of a demand in his tone than he intended. “ _Why?_ ”

Thea seemed to consider this for a moment. “I have always been good at reading people, Nate,” she finally stated. “At understanding them. Ironic, perhaps, given my general distaste for most, but there you have it. And make no mistake: if I thought for a single _instant_ that you would hurt Cat? You would not be allowed within a league of her.” Her expression darkened, and there was a flash of the temper Cullen had warned him about in her eyes. “The last man who crossed a line with Cat paid dearly for it. I saw to that, as did my fiancé. And after all…” Her eyes fell away, and her next words were almost inaudible. “I would see her smile again, Nate.”

She stood up then, crossing her arms as she walked to the window and stared out towards the sea. “I apologize, Nate, for my vehemence in this matter. That man…. You need not worry about him. And I believe I have prodded at you enough for the moment.” When she looked back to him, she had regained her composure. “I will leave you be. Should you need anything, of course do not hesitate to seek me or Loghain out.”

With that, she turned and moved towards the door, but Nate spoke up before she could leave. “Thank you, Thea. For welcoming me into your home and… and for the talk.”

Thea looked back towards him, a small half-smile on her lips. “I am very glad you are here, Nate,” she said, her voice soft and almost a little sad. “And if I may make one suggestion? The meadows east of the keep are truly lovely this time of year. The flowers are in full bloom and on a nice day such as this, you can see all the way to the sea. I often find a walk before dinner helps me work up an appetite.”

And with that, she quietly left the room, leaving him alone with his thoughts.

—————————————————————————————— 

“You are playing with fire, you know.”

Thea sighed, dashing off her standard messy scrawl of a signature on a trade agreement she was finalizing with an Antivan merchant prince. It had been a particularly tricky bit of work and she was well and truly glad to be done with it even having entirely gotten her way. Of course she had. Still, it had been tiresome, and she was already tightly wound with the wedding preparations and, now, the arrival of their guest.

“We agreed, Loghain,” she replied evenly, “That he will be safer here. Here, I can give him answers when… when the curse lifts. We have only a few more days, and it will be over.”

“No, the curse will be over,” Loghain corrected, though his tone was not unkind. “His memory will come back, _everyone’s_ memory will come back, and you will have ten years of answers to provide. He may not understand, Theadosia. She may not, either.”

Thea let her head drop briefly to her chest. He was right. Of course he was right. It was the same fear and worry that had kept her up far too many nights over the past decade, and the same gnawing regret that she had made the wrong choice taking on the curse herself rather than allowing Cat the choice. In the entire ten years, she had only told the truth to two people: Loghain, and Anora. Only they had the memories of Nathaniel she bore, and remembered exactly who he was. “He will still be safer here, with us. We planned the entire wedding date around that idea, so the invitation would not seem out of place.”

“Yes,” Loghain conceded, “I do not disagree. Better to be amongst people who care for him than to leave him where he was and risk his father finding him first. Though…” He hesitated, and Thea could tell he was debating what he wanted to say next.

“What is it, love?” She pressed, fear rising in her heart despite her best efforts to repress it.

Loghain sighed, running a hand through his hair. “I spoke with Anora when she arrived yesterday,” he said. “Rendon Howe has disappeared. No one has seen him in over a month, and currently Seneschal Varel is holding things together in Amaranthine. Doing an admirable job of it, mind, but that does raise the question of where the void Rendon is and what he is planning.”

“He would not dare come here,” Thea growled, though a creeping nausea was spreading over her stomach. “If he crosses our border, his life is forfeit. You signed the order yourself after what happened with Thomas.”

“Yes, and it still holds. However, a piece of paper is going to do very little to deter him if he is bent on revenge,” he pointed out.

“Thomas’s death was not my fault,” Thea countered. “He has always had too much love of drink. To be honest, I am surprised it took as long as it did for it to finally cause his demise.”

Loghain shrugged wearily. “I know, Theadosia,” he replied. “But it has been many years since Rendon could be said to have any semblance of rationality. Thomas was his favorite child, and the presumed heir to Amaranthine at one time. There are only three people in the entire world who know otherwise, but as soon as the curse lifts and the memories return…”

“I will kill him first,” Thea shot back angrily. “I will not allow him to take Nathaniel away from Cat. Not again.”

“Oh, sweetheart.” Loghain held out his hands to her, and Thea stood up and took them, letting him pull her into his arms. He gently brushed the tears away from her cheeks. In her anger she had not even realize they had fallen. “Theadosia, I know you love them both. I know you are trying to do what is best, and I will help you as best I can. I just want you to be prepared for what comes next.”

Thea took a deep breath, nuzzling closer to Loghain’s chest.

“I am not certain that is possible, my love.”


	5. Chapter 5

Cataline’s heart felt as though it was ready to beat out of her chest.

She had no idea why. True, the man in front of her was nice to look at. Actually, that was a gross understatement: he was perhaps the most attractive man she had ever met, but that should not have been enough to set her heart to racing as it was. When he had bent to brush a kiss to the back of her hand and he had spoken her name, it felt as though she was being warmed by the first sunrise of spring. Even now, she was not entirely certain how she had managed a coherent reply. All she knew was that she was deeply disappointed Thea had led Nate of South Reach off to see him settled in his room.

At her side, she felt Loghain place a comforting hand on her shoulder. “Beautiful and terrifying,” he said softly, and she remembered in vivid detail the conversation they had earlier. A flush of color rose in her cheeks.

“I have barely met the man,” she finally managed. “Honestly, I have hardly anything on which to base an opinion of him.” _And now that Thea has taken him off somewhere, I do not have the opportunity to do so._

Loghain seemed to read her thoughts because he laughed. “Cat, you know Theadosia is going to want to vet any man who shows an interest in you. All the more so for the interest you showed in him.”

The warmth in her cheeks blossomed, and Cat did her best to compose herself. “I am certain I have no idea what you are talking about,” she replied more tartly than she intended. She sighed, and her next words were more gentle. “Loghain, I honestly do not have any idea. I have never reacted that way to… to anyone.”

He thought for a moment, then shrugged. “I am probably the last person you ought to be looking for answers from, given how clumsy my own attempts at expressing feelings have been, but I would simply advise you to not worry about it so much. The young man is obviously smitten with you, and you clearly feel some sort of pull towards him. Perhaps something will happen, perhaps it will not, but worrying over it will certainly not help matters. Theadosia will set him loose before too long, and you are clever: I am sure you will think of some way to speak with him.”

“And if not, she may well come up with one for me,” Cat laughed. “Oh, perhaps you are right,” she exhaled. “And there are certainly other things I ought to be working on just at the moment. I can hardly believe there are only six days left until the wedding, and there is the ball in a few nights to prepare for-”

“Which I still cannot believe we let you and Anora talk us into,” Loghain grumbled, cutting her off. “That being said, Cataline, I am hereby ordering you to give yourself a rest. You have been working ceaselessly as of late, and even were that not the case I strongly suspect you would be of little use given your current state.”

Cat raised a skeptical eyebrow in his direction. “You are _ordering_ me?”

“I am,” Loghain confirmed. “As teyrn of this castle and these lands, but more importantly,” he put his hands on her shoulders and pressed a kiss to the top of her head, “As your family, and as your friend, I am telling you to go relax. You will be of no use to anyone if your head and your heart are being torn in a million different directions. Why don’t you wander out to the meadows, find that tree you like, and sit for a while?”

Cat hesitated, then nodded. “Perhaps you are right, Loghain. You will make certain Thea has her dress and mask ready for the ball? And that the kitchens have enough mead set aside? And the-”

“Yes, to all of the above,” Loghain interrupted, gently turning her around and pushing her in the direction of the countryside. “Now, go. And do not come back until you have had a chance to take some time for yourself. I will take care of Theadosia.”

Cat giggled softly. “That is what I am afraid of,” she retorted, and he offered a small smile before turning back towards the castle. Having been summarily relieved of her responsibilities for the moment, Cat decided to take his suggestion and take a walk. Worst case scenario, it would at the very least tire her out and make it easier for her to sleep that night. As it currently stood, she was not certain she would be able to quiet her mind enough to do so otherwise.

Maker but she was drawn to Nate. Some part of her, some inexplicable yet insistent part, whispered that she ought to know him. That she ought to _remember_ him, but that was simply impossible. Cat had absolutely no doubt in her mind that she would have remembered meeting someone like him. All she really knew of him was what they had read in the letters Elina and Cullen had sent over the years. They had told them of finding Nate wandering in the woods, a story that had seemed to strike Thea particularly hard, though she never quite explained why.

Nate himself had never visited until now, but that was not so unusual: the clinic demanded a lot of the Rutherfords, and they had always praised Nate as a dedicated and invaluable administrator. It was also an immense demand on their time, however, and even visits from Cullen or Elina were rare. Cat was now deeply regretting that. She could not help but wonder if perhaps she may have not spent so many years alone had she met Nate earlier.

_All speculation, of course,_ she reminded herself irritably. She still knew very little about Nate, save what she had gleaned from letters, and there was certainly no guaranty he would find her as attractive as she seemed to find him. And what if they spoke further and he turned out to be dreadfully dull, or ill-mannered, or-

She threw up her hands, though there was no one around to witness her frustration. Without even realizing it, Cat had wandered all the way from the castle to the meadows and forest that hugged the keep on the east side before eventually leading down to the harsh beauty of the Amaranthine Ocean. It was, in fact, exactly where Loghain had suggested she go, and it had been a good idea. Apparently. Cat settled down against the soft moss creeping up her favorite shady tree, taking care not to crush any of the delicate wildflowers that graced the meadows around it.

Sitting there by herself, staring out over the softly swaying grasses and dancing blossoms and all the way to the wild waves of the sea, she did feel better. Or at least she felt more calm, and more herself. Even still, Cat could not help also feeling slightly disappointed she had not crossed paths with their mysterious guest. She knew Loghain was right: if Cat had been as obvious in her interest as he said, Thea would undoubtedly want to learn more about Nate before she would trust him alone with Cat. She loved her dearly, but there were times she suspected Thea was more protective of her than she strictly needed to be. In her defense, however, Thea had been right about Thomas.

For years, her entire life really, Cat had been refusing every suitor who had come to first Highever, then to Gwaren, seeking her hand in marriage. Even as a second child and a daughter, there was value in marrying into the Cousland family, so there had been a steady stream of men who had hoped to win her favor.

None had even come close.

All her life, she had been holding every single potential partner up to some indefinable standard. It was one even she could not truly put to words: all she knew was that she had not found the man to meet it yet. Part of her blamed the dreams, and the fact she had never been able to meet a man who made her feel the way she did with the elusive figure in the fade. Today, though… today she had come remarkably close, and she was not entirely sure what to make of that.

Cat mindlessly spun a small field daisy between her fingers, the clean, bright scents of the bloom and the greenery keeping her in the moment. She had always loved the wild flowers of the forests and meadows best, better even than the expensive roses imported from Orlais or the exotic orchids the Antivan merchants traded in or even the vibrant sunflowers and poppies favored by Thea. They were beautiful in their own way, she supposed, but wildflowers had always held a special place in Cat’s heart. She could not even say why she had such a liking for them: all she knew was that they made her smile, even as they also made her heart wistful.

“You seem to be deep in thought.”

She looked up quickly, scrambling to her feet as the speaker approached. Cat was more pleased than she ought to have been that the newcomer was Nate, and she was only slightly chagrined she had nearly fallen over herself trying to greet him. “Nothing so serious as that,” she replied, trying and failing to maintain a demure smile. “Simply getting some fresh air. There has been so much to do lately, and so much activity at the castle. I was… well, I was instructed to take some time to rest.”

He returned her smile, and Cat felt her heart leap in her chest. The summer sun was casting his eyes silver, and the raven black fall of his hair seemed even richer for the warmth of the light. She had not even realized how _tall_ he was when they first met, or how his entire frame seemed to consist of lean muscle and easy, loping movements. She vaguely remembered Elina saying something about him being an accomplished archer and tracker, and Cat could not stop herself from imagining just how it would feel to be held in those arms.

“I did not mean to intrude,” he said softly. “Your cousin suggested a walk might suit me.”

_Of course she did_ , Cat thought to herself. “You are not intruding in the slightest,” she assured him, perhaps a bit too quickly. “I am… I am glad you are here,” she said more carefully. “You are certainly welcome to join me, if you like, or if you would rather return to the castle I would understand, or…” She let her voice trail off, realizing she was rambling. She never rambled. Nate did not seem too terribly put out by it, though, and his smile widened slightly and he offered a small nod of his head.

“It would be a pleasure, my Lady,” he said, joining her as she sat back down against the broad trunk of the tree. “I have to say, had I known Gwaren was so beautiful, I would have made a much more concerted effort to visit before now.”

Cat heard the underlying warmth in his words, and her cheeks flushed once more. “I adore it here,” she agreed. “The stormy sea certainly suits Thea, even more so than the milder coasts of Highever did, and when I came to visit after she moved here to be with Loghain I fell in love with it too. It was not difficult to agree to join them when they made the invitation.”

“I can certainly see this place suiting her,” he chuckled quietly, his hands idly toying with the wildflowers at his feet. “And I can even more certainly see why she and the teyrn fell for each other.”

Cat smiled. “They are a remarkable pair, aren’t they? I pity anyone who stands in their way. So you find the teyrnir agreeable?”

He looked at her, his eyes meeting hers and a quiet smile on his face. “Very,” he replied. “I fear it will be difficult for me to return to South Reach after the wedding.”

The idea of his departure, even days away, sent a sharp stab through Cat’s heart. “Oh?” She asked, making an attempt at keeping her voice even. “Do you dislike South Reach?”

Nate thought for a long moment before answering. “It is not that I dislike it, exactly,” he finally said. “And I would never want to seem ungrateful for everything the Rutherfords have done to help me build a life there, quiet though it may be. My work keeps me busy, which has also proven to be a very good thing as it keeps me distracted. Keeps me from… from wondering, too much.”

“Wondering? She asked quietly, and his brow furrowed a bit.

“About what I lost,” he said, almost as if to himself. “The only clues I had were those that I found in my satchel in the woods beside me, and those did not add up to much. Although, the letter at least gave me a name, which was useful.”

“If I may pry,” Cat asked, “Who was the letter from?”

“Someone who went by Teddy,” Nate shrugged. “Almost certainly a nickname, and not a name that triggered anything for me. I have no idea what their real name or surname is, but…” His face fell. “But I think they were my best friend. And one of the many things I have wondered since that day is why I never heard of anyone looking for me.”

Cat would have sworn he was holding something else back, but the subject was obviously painful for him, so she did not press. “I find it impossible to believe no one ever looked for you,” she said softly. “Had I lost you, I would have turned the world upside down to find you.”

She immediately feared she had said too much, but her words seemed to cheer him a bit, and a small smile returned to his face. “I find it difficult to believe I would have allowed myself to be lost, under those circumstances,” he said, and her heart skipped another beat. “But no,” he shifted back to his previous statement, “I did not dislike South Reach. It is simply that… that I always felt as if there was something missing. That there was something more out there for me, and that the only way I would ever find answers is if I left, but the longer I stayed in South Reach, the harder it became to find the courage to leave. It was a small village, but it was safe.”

Cat nodded slowly. “I can see how you would feel that way,” she agreed. “I loved Highever, and I love living here in Gwaren with Thea and Loghain. I have more freedom here than I think I ever have, and it has been good to be out from my brother’s shadow. But even still, even with that security, I…” she hesitated, then finally said, “I envy what they have. That fierce, honest, burning-bright love they share.”

“I know what you mean,” Nate sighed. “It has always felt… it has always felt as though…”

“As though half my heart were missing,” Cat finished his sentence, and he looked up at her in surprise.

“Exactly,” he said, almost to himself.

They were both quiet for a long moment. “I think I will find it very difficult as well,” Cat finally spoke, “When… When you return to South Reach.”

“Well,” Nate replied carefully, “Perhaps I will have reason to come back. To visit.”

She could not help but smile. “Given the opportunity, I am sure I could come up with a reason. Several, probably.”

He laughed, breaking the tension that had been steadily building between them. “I look forward to it,” he informed her, then sat up a bit. “Here.” He gently placed a crown woven of wildflowers on her hair. She had been so distracted by their conversation she had not even noticed him steadily working on it. “Perhaps not as valuable as your cousin’s coronet or your friend’s crown, but somehow I think it suits you.”

Cat felt a blossom of warmth in her heart as the petals and leaves settled against her head. “I love it,” she murmured, gently catching his hands in hers as they fell away. “And I would not trade it for all the gems or precious metals in the world.”

“Well, I am glad you like it,” he smiled, and Cat was so lost in it and in the silvery light of his eyes that she very nearly missed the ominous clouds gathering rapidly over the ocean.

“Oh dear,” she sighed. “We may have to run,” she explained, nodding in the direction of the thunderheads and accepting his hands when he offered to help her up. She was not even a bit sorry he did not immediately let go of her hers, either. “Summer squalls off the sea come on incredibly fast and are incredibly fierce, and we probably do not want to be caught out in one.”

“No, I can’t imagine so,” he agreed, frowning at the encroaching sprawl of gloom. “To be honest, I doubt we will be able to outrun it. Think we can at least make it to that building over there?” He nodded in the direction of an old wooden barn roughly halfway between them and the castle.

“I think so,” Cat said, just as the first heavy drops of rain began to fall. “Come on,” she tugged his hand and they set off towards the old structure at an easy lope as water began to fall in earnest. Even still, the rain had managed to soak them fair through to the bone before they finally tugged open the ancient doors and slipped into the dark and dusty barn. Nate’s shirt was plastered against his chest and Cat could see the outline of every muscle through it, which held her distraction for just long enough for her to realize her own linen dress was probably revealing far more, and she made a vague attempt at crossing her arms over her torso. She shivered, and Nate looked at her with concern.

“Any idea how long these storms last?” He asked, pulling a small flint and steel from the pouch on his belt. Cat helped him gather up some random pieces of scrap wood and enough musty hay to act as kindling.

“Not terribly long,” she assured him, trying to squeeze some of the water from her long braid as he sparked a fire to life on the old dirt floor. “Not in the summer, at least. With as fierce as the wind was blowing, it should pass over us soon enough. An hour, perhaps less. I am just sorry you were caught out in it.”

Nate looked up at her, and there was something in his eyes that made Cat forget to breathe for a moment. “No apology is necessary, my lady,” he said softly. “A little rain is a pitifully small price to pay for having spent an afternoon in your company.” He leaned back against the wooden door of a horse stall, and Cat found herself curling up beside him, letting the small fire warm her.

“You do not have to do that, you know,” she pointed out quietly, and he raised an eyebrow in question. “Call me ‘my lady,’” she explained. “Just call me Cat.”

He nodded slowly, leaning ever so slightly closer to her. “Cat,” he murmured, his forehead briefly meeting hers. “It is a lovely name. I would hate to break etiquette, though, or otherwise offend you, or… or…”

And then his arm was around her waist, and she was leaning closer to him. Her eyelashes fluttered shut, her heart racing, and before she could think better of it her lips were pressed against his, and Maker take her but she was kissing him. It was soft, and gentle, and she very nearly felt as if she were in a dream. A very, very good dream.

“Apologies, my lady,” Nate whispered, gently pulling away from her but keeping his arm around her waist as though he were reluctant to truly let go. “I did not mean to overstep my-”

Whatever else he intended to say was cut off as Cat once again claimed his mouth with hers, harder this time, and she was beyond overjoyed when he responded with equal fervor. He pulled her tight against him, and when her tongue danced ever so lightly over his bottom lip, he willingly deepened their kiss as her hand tangled in the damp locks of his hair at the base of his head. He tasted of the first rays of sun over the pines and the soft, clean rains of spring.

Cat had no idea how long they sat there, tangled in each other’s arms and utterly lost in each other. It had been years since she had been kissed, and none of those came even close to comparing to the way Nate was kissing her now. When they finally parted, she was absolutely breathless and dizzy in the best possible way. He still held her, his hand rubbing gently up and down her spine.

“You must be freezing,” he finally spoke, his voice husky and low and full of something Cat desperately wanted to puzzle out. “I think the rain has stopped.”

She looked behind them, where the cloudburst had given way to vibrant rays of sunshine as they burst through the clouds. “I think you are right,” she agreed, unable to conceal her disappointment. He laughed gently, running a thumb over her cheek when she nuzzled her head against his shoulder.

“We should at least get you back to the castle so you can get some dry clothes on,” he pointed out. “And then… then I would very much like to spend more time with you, Cat.”

Cat smiled brightly. “I would like that too, Nate,” she agreed, allowing him to help her stand up. When he offered her his arm, she accepted the gesture, and they slowly made the rest of the walk back to Castle Gwaren. When they finally entered the front hall, Thea was there, and she did not look even remotely surprised to see them together.

“Andraste’s ass, the two of you are soaked to the bone!” She observed with only mild exasperation. “I was afraid you had gotten caught in that cloudburst. Well, there is nothing to be done for it I suppose.” Thea studied them for a moment, a half smile lilting at her lips. “Best go upstairs and change into some dry clothes, at least. I took the liberty of having a fire laid out in both your rooms, so you should just need to spark it. I will have some dinner sent up to Cat’s room; I am sure you are both exhausted, and there is no particular reason you should have to join us for what I suspect will be an interminably long evening entertaining our other guests.”

“Thank you, Thea,” Nate bowed slightly in her direction, either oblivious to or tactfully ignoring the way she had worded her offer. “I believe I will take advantage of your thoughtfulness.” He glanced towards Cat one more time, a small smile on his lips, before he turned to ascend the stairs. Cat exhaled heavily, not even realizing she had been holding her breath.

“You know, you are usually far more subtle than that,” she pointed out dryly, and Thea’s smile widened considerably.

“If you want subtle, go try Leliana,” she replied, utterly unbothered by the withering look Cat was directing at her. “I like this one. And you like him, too.”

“And if I do?” Cat asked, though part of her felt an unreasonable skip of hope in her heart. The fact Thea liked him was not insignificant: the last time she had approved of one of the men who had come to court Cat had been… actually, now she thought of it, Thea had not liked _any_ of those men.

Thea’s expression softened just a bit. “Oh, Cat,” she laughed quietly. “I know you just met him, but he seems a good sort. I am not opposed to the two of you spending as much time together as possible in these days while he is here. And who knows: perhaps something, or someone, will convince him Gwaren is an ideal place to relocate?”

Cat did not reply, which of course was all the answer Thea really needed. The younger woman placed a supportive hand on her shoulder, then gently prodded her in the direction of the stairs. Cat rolled her eyes, but headed up to her room anyways.

And tried to pretend she was not hoping he would be waiting for her.


	6. Chapter 6

He felt as though he were in a dream.

For the first time in as long as he could remember, Nate was truly smiling, and he felt a lightness in his heart he could not quite define, but that he was more than willing to embrace. Maker, he had _kissed_ her. He had kissed Cataline Cousland, and more importantly, she had kissed him back. Every practical, sensible part of his brain was telling him it would never work, but _oh_ how his heart wanted to believe it could. A single afternoon with her, and he was already willing to throw away everything he had built in South Reach just to stay in her presence.

And it had not been lost on him, the casual way Thea had ensured he and Cat would be able to spend the evening together, alone. He had met Thea’s eyes at that point, and she had shot him an almost imperceptible wink. In that moment, he knew he had a friend, and a valuable ally at that. Nate had accepted the cue and gone ahead upstairs, shedding his rain-soaked clothing for a pair of leather trousers and a cotton shirt. He reached for the comb on his desk and began working at his hair, a pleasant shiver running through him as he remembered the way Cat’s fingers had felt tangled in it.

When he had made himself look as normal as he could… actually, if he was being honest, a bit _better_ than he usually bothered to, he peeked out into the quiet hallway outside his room. In his dazed state, he had neglected to ask exactly where Cat’s room was, and he now faced the unenviable task of either guessing and knocking, or asking and risking uncomfortable follow-up questions. Fortunately, he was quickly saved from either scenario.

“Somehow, I am not surprised she put you in that room.”

He turned towards the soft melody that was Cataline’s voice. She was poking her head out of the room next door to his, and there was a soft, ever so slightly amused smile on her lips. He returned the gesture, carefully closing his door and padding down the hall towards her. When he had entered her room, she pinned him against the door with a surprising amount of strength, meeting his lips with hers. Still smiling against her mouth, Nate wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close, letting himself sink into their kiss.

“For the record,” she murmured when they finally parted, “I do not usually let strange men into my room. Nor do I greet them so… enthusiastically.”

Nate chuckled quietly, pressing a kiss to the top of her head as she took him by the hand and led him into her sitting room and the table that had been set out with food. “Good to know I am special,” he replied, only half joking. “It was awfully decent of your cousin to send something up.”

“Emphasis on ‘awful’ perhaps,” Cat giggled. “That woman knows too much, and understands far too well. But yes, she has her moments. In all seriousness, I do not know what I would do without her. We have always had each other, and she has always been fiercely protective of me.”

“Then I consider myself duly lucky she seems to approve of me,” Nate noted, taking a seat at the table. “I have heard she has quite a temper.”

Cat nodded. “Mmhmm. Less so, since she and Loghain have been together, but there have been times when she has not approved of the men courting me and has… expressed her opinion forcefully.”

“She mentioned a Thomas,” Nate said carefully, and Cat breathed a heavy sigh.

“Arl Howe’s son,” she explained. “And he was his heir before Anora disavowed him, since Rendon disowned his older daughter, Delilah. I rather like Lilah, but Rendon and Thomas are pieces of work. The latter is not so much malevolent as a perpetual drunk, and he does not take ‘no’ for an answer very well. He crossed a line with me and… well, to be honest I would rather not discuss what he tried to do to me. Thea caught him and she was not gentle. Nor was Loghain. But honestly, most men who have crossed my path have been, well, fine?” She took a sip of wine and thought for a moment. “There was one rather annoying one who kept sending me roses. A nice boy, but too young and far too immature. I let Thea handle that one as well, though that was probably a bit harsh.” She paused for a moment, then looked at him. “What about you? I am sure you have had plenty of women interested in you.”

Nate shrugged, feeling a sudden warmth in his cheeks. “I do not know about that,” he demurred. “I suppose there were a couple. Elina always wanted me to ‘put myself out there’ but I was dreadful at it. The village girls never caught my interest, and it felt disingenuous to pretend to feel something I did not. Maybe I should have put in more effort, though given current circumstances I am suddenly deeply grateful I did not.”

Her answering smile made his heart swell, and he momentarily forgot his dinner and, really, the rest of the world around him save for Cat and the light in her eyes. “I have never met anyone like you Cat,” he finally said. “I spent ten years in the village more or less keeping to myself, and I was content enough to do so. Now, not even a day in your presence and I feel as though I could spend a lifetime in it.”

“It is odd,” Cat replied slowly, “That I should know you for so brief a time, yet I have fallen so very, _very_ hard.”

Her tone sent his heart sinking, despite the words she spoke. Still, he knew she was right; knew they had to do things right or risk everything falling apart down the line. “I understand, Cat,” he reassured her, reaching out a hand to her. She accepted the gesture, squeezing it gently. “Then let’s slow down,” he suggested. “There is so much I want to know about you. Well,” he admitted, “Really, I want to know everything about you. And I happen to think you are well worth taking the time to get to know properly.”

She seemed to consider this for a moment, then grinned. “Think we can still do the kissing part?”

He laughed. “I do not see why not.” He lifted her hand to his lips and pressed a kiss there. “But in the interim… actually, I am not entirely certain where to even start.” Nate thought for a bit, then asked, “What is your favorite color? Your favorite flower? Food? Season? Hobbies? Your-”

Cat stopped him, laughing brightly. “Light greens and purples, nearly any wildflowers but definitely not roses, fresh fruit or freshly baked bread, spring. I love reading, gardening, archery, singing, and as horribly clichéd as it sounds, taking long walks in the woods or on the beach.”

“Apologies, Cat,” he said, with just a trace of teasing under the genuine contrition. “Though I did warn you I wanted to know everything.”

“That you did.” She was still smiling as she stood. “And I very much doubt we will cover all the ground we need to over the course of a single meal. Would you mind terribly staying for tea?”

“Not at all,” he shook his head, watching with mild interest as Cat began retrieving items from a nearby set of shelves: an elegantly engraved kettle, a pitcher of water, a linen bag filled with fragrant herbs, and a metal tea strainer. She knelt down by the fire, fitting the hearth with an iron stand unto which she placed the now-filled kettle, then sat back and began to fill the strainer with the tea leaves and other herbs.

“I enjoy the process,” she admitted, looking back towards him as they waited for the water to boil. “It is peaceful, and calm, and deliberate.”

“I understand,” Nate replied, moving to sit beside her on the floor as they watched the flames. He was gratified when she moved closer to him, letting her head rest against his shoulder as he wrapped an arm around her waist. “Those are much the same reasons I enjoy archery. I am pleased to know you do as well.”

Cat giggled softly. “Yes, Elina mentioned in her letters that you were a remarkably talented marksman. Best she had ever seen, which is saying something. You should go out to the range tomorrow with Thea and Loghain. It would be good for him to have someone give him a challenge, and she is always looking for new teachers.”

He frowned slightly. “Why does her fiancé not teach her?”

“Oh, he does, more or less,” Cat replied dryly. “They just never seem to manage to get very far in their lessons before they end up… distracted.”

This prompted a laugh of Nate’s own. “Somehow, that does not surprise me. I admit, I have not the slightest idea when I picked up the skill. The bow I have was found with me after I had lost my memory. And Elina may be giving me too much credit: most of my skill comes from very, very long hours of practice, a preference for solitude and a gift for precision.”

“It seems to me as though that makes your skill all the more impressive,” Cat pointed out gently. “You had to work for it; you earned it. That is far more admirable than something you were simply gifted with.”

He felt his cheeks warm. “Perhaps,” he conceded. “What about you? How did you start?”

“Not so fast,” she stopped him, flashing a mischievous smile in his direction as she removed the boiling water from the fire and set it on a trivet before adding the tea strainer. “I believe you owe me your favorite color, flower, food, season, and hobbies.”

“Fair enough,” he chuckled. “Let me think… violet, whatever flowers will make you happiest, a good shepard’s pie so long as there are no onions in it and bonus points if you grate a bit of good Fereldan cheddar on it, autumn. As far as hobbies? Hm. Reading, definitely. Not much more to do in South Reach winters beyond tearing through every book in the village. And…” he hesitated, but she looked at him with such gentle kindness in her eyes that he sighed and continued. “I like writing. Nothing fancy, of course. Just stories about the places I went and the things I saw.”

“I think that sounds lovely,” Cat said, carefully pouring the tea into two beautiful porcelain cups. “I would love to read it someday.”

“Truly?” He asked, genuinely pleased and surprised. “I have never shared it with anyone else. Not even Cullen or Elina know about it. But… but perhaps I can bring some of it with me when I come back.”

“And here I thought I would have to come up with some clever ruse to convince you to come back,” Cat teased, handing over a cup as they both settled down on the couch facing the picture windows.

Nate took a moment to breathe in the delicately fragranced steam before he took a sip. “Andraste’s blood, Cat, this is the best tea I have ever had.”

Her entire face brightened. “Do you really mean that? The tea leaves are imported from Antiva, but the herbs are from my garden. I make the blend myself.”

“Is there anything you are not good at?” He asked, taking another sip and letting the perfectly balanced flavor profile warm his throat.

Cat raised a skeptical eyebrow. “Plenty,” she said. “For example, up until about two years ago I was terrified of riding a horse.”

Nate snorted, and Cat rolled her eyes. “You are joking. You must have been around horses all your life.”

“They are massive!” Cat protested. “And Thea’s monster did not help any. She has raised Aurora since she was just a foal and has an unshakeable bond with the beast, but damned if that horse is not an ornery thing. I cannot tell you how many times I have nearly been nipped because I was not paying close enough attention.”

“Fair enough,” Nate conceded, biting back a smile. “So what changed?”

Cat shrugged. “Loghain introduced me to his warhorse, Alexander. Even bigger than Aurora, but trained for battle: solid, unflappable, and remarkably responsive to commands. He let me ride him for a few training sessions, and it more or less cured me of my fear. Last year they gave me Lark, who has proven to be about the sweetest animal on the planet.”

Nate considered what she had said for a moment. “You said Thea raised Aurora from a foal?”

“She did,” Cat confirmed. “Had her heart set on it, really.”

Something triggered in the back of his mind, but he could not quite pin it down, so instead he changed the subject. “Sometimes I wonder about my siblings. I know I had a brother, but I wonder if I had any more. I wonder… I wonder if anyone looked for me. Missed me.”

“Oh Nate,” Cat set her cup on the table and nestled closer to him. “I cannot even imagine living with those questions, and I wish I could give you any sort of closure on them. What I can promise you, however, is that if you ever go missing again I will personally comb every inch of Thedas to find you.”

“Good to know,” he smiled, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. He let his head rest against hers, the excitement of the day finally catching up to him and making him drowsy. “Cat?”

“Yes, Nate?”

“Tell me a story about when you were a child?”

“Mmm,” Cat hummed, leaning up and brushing a kiss against his cheek. “I can do that. Anything in particular?”

“Anything,” he said. “I just want to know about you, Cataline.”

“Alright then. Let’s see.” Cat thought for a moment, her fingers lacing easily with his. “How about the time I had to rescue Thea from a tree?”

“Thea had to be rescued?” Nate asked with only a hint of disbelief. “This I have to hear.”

Cat laughed. “She was… what, ten years old? So I would have been twelve. She had gotten it into her head that she and Teddy, her beloved stuffed bear, needed fresh honeycomb, and she was going to get it straight from the hive. She knew how to smoke the bees out without hurting them; she has always loved them and would never intentionally harm them. So she scurried up a tree she knew the bees tended to make their hives in. Unfortunately, she had underestimated just how high up the hive would be, and she ended up stranded in the upper branches before she ever ended up with the honeycomb.”

“Being delightfully stubborn, however, she refused to call for help,” Cat continued wryly. “I found her there shortly after noon, clinging to the trunk with one arm and Teddy firmly clutched in the other. She refused to drop Teddy, of course, but that left her well and firmly stuck. I spent I do not know how long negotiating with her, promising I would catch her bear if she simply tossed him down to me, but she loved Teddy and was exceedingly reluctant to risk damaging him. So finally I ended up constructing a basket and pulley system of sorts: I ran back to Castle Highever, dumped the contents of my sewing basket out on my bed, and took it and a coil of rope I borrowed from the stables back into the forest.”

She paused for a moment, then giggled quietly. “You know, I am not entirely certain if this is a story about saving Thea, or saving Teddy, now that I think on it. In any case, I went back to the tree and tried to swing the rope up over a branch high enough to use as a pulley, but of course I couldn’t. So I had to climb the tree myself, carrying the rope, until I could throw it over a branch near Thea. I made my way back down, sent the basket up, and she finally put Teddy in and let me lower him to the ground. Then she scampered down neat as can be, her right hand sticky with honey and-”

“And splinters in her feet,” Nate finished.

Cat sat up suddenly, staring at him as though he had grown an extra head. “Yes,” she confirmed slowly. “She half limped back to the castle, though she was smart enough not to complain because she knew it was her own fault. I spent the rest of the afternoon digging those splinters out of her feet. But how… how did you know that, Nate?”

_How did I know that?_

Because he had. Somehow, impossibly, he had been able to see the picture in his mind as clear as day: little Thea, her hair in a messy braided crown and a stubborn set to her jaw even as she refused to admit her bare feet had gotten splinters in them. And a much younger Cat, violet eyes gentle and patient as she carefully tucked a well-loved teddy bear into a sewing basket before she offered her young cousin a supportive arm to lean on as they returned to Castle Highever, a place he had never been and yet could see in his mind. He realized Cat was still waiting for an answer, staring at him intently as if she could read his thoughts.

“A lucky guess, I suppose,” he replied carefully. “I am not sure I have seen her with shoes on since I arrived this morning, and it seems unlikely that is a habit she would have picked up later in life. I can see her running wild in the forest with no footwear and no thought for the consequences.”

Cat nodded, though he could tell she was still not entirely satisfied with his answer. “You are right,” she said. “Thea has always hated wearing shoes. She also, however, hates having dirty feet, so she is constantly washing them. I suppose we all have our quirks.” She snuggled back up against him, stifling a yawn behind her delicate hand. “Nate?”

“Yes, Cat?”

“Is it awful if I simply want to spend the rest of the night just like this?” She asked, her words dusky with sleep as her head nuzzled against his shoulder. Nate smiled, wrapping an arm around her and pulling a throw blanket up over their laps.

“No, Cat,” he murmured, stroking her hair softly. “I do not think that is so awful at all.”

————————————————————————————-

Nate had never seen a sunrise as beautiful as the one that woke him the next morning.

They had, in fact, fallen asleep together on the sofa, Cataline nestled safe in his arms. He exhaled softly, his eyes adjusting to the soft early morning light as it washed over the countryside, and she stirred slightly, tilting her head up to brush a kiss against his cheek.

“Good morning,” she said.

“Good morning, Cat,” he replied, kissing the top of her head. “Though I fear you may not have gotten a particularly good night’s rest here on the sofa. I should have put you to bed and tucked you in properly.”

She giggled. “And then you would have undoubtedly done the chivalrous thing and left my room. Personally, I think you made the better choice. Besides,” she gave a soft sigh of contentment, “I slept wonderfully. Best I have in a while, actually.”

“Mmm, I’m glad,” Nate said, his heart warming at her words. “Me too, actually,” he admitted, the realization dawning on him with the first rays of the sun. “I am… I am so content, Cat. I am actually, truly happy.”

Cat opened her mouth as though she was about to reply when there was a quiet but firm knock at the door. She stood, frowning slightly, and went to answer it. “Oh!”

“Good morning, Cataline,” Loghain said, and Nate could swear there was just a trace of amusement in the other man’s voice. “Nate. Theadosia would like to know if the two of you would be joining us for breakfast.”

“I, oh, well…” Cat stumbled over her words, and Nate was not certain he would be able to add anything useful to the conversation that would make it less awkward. Fortunately, Loghain decided to put them both out of their misery.

“Oh, Andraste’s ass, Cataline,” he sighed with affectionate exasperation. “I am not nearly so easy to horrify as that. Where, or with whom, you spend your evenings is none of my business.”

Cat huffed, and Loghain did laugh then. “Cat, let me ask you this: how long have your cousin and I been involved with each other?”

Nate watched as her brow furrowed slightly before she answered. “Two years? A little more than that?”

He nodded. “And how long as she lived in Gwaren? With me?”

“Two years minus a few days?”

Loghain gave her a small smile. “And of all those many nights, exactly how many of them do you think I went to bed alone?”

Nate could not help a snort of laughter at that as Cat rolled her eyes good-naturedly, and Loghain gave a nod in his direction. “Please feel free to join us for breakfast. Both of you.”

“Thank you,” Nate replied, finally standing up and stretching. “I would be honored.”

“No need for that, Nate,” Loghain replied, raising a single brow. “Knowing my wife-to-be, we’ll be lucky if she’s deigned to put on pants.” And with that, he turned and walked away, leaving Cat in a fit of giggles and Nate mildly bemused. When he looked to her in silent question, she shrugged.

“He is mostly joking. Well, not the bit about him and Thea sleeping together. That is the worst kept secret in all of Thedas, but the part about her not wearing pants. Probably.”

Nate laughed. “I think I will take my chances.” He moved for the door, pausing long enough to press a kiss to the ginger waves of her hair. “Give me five minutes to brush my teeth, comb my hair, and change into something that has not recently been slept in.”

“Deal,” she said, a beautiful smile tilting at her lips.

“I think I can last five minutes.”


	7. Chapter 7

She felt as if she were floating.

It was an odd feeling; something so unlike her, the steady, calm, patient one. Now, Nate had hardly been gone two minutes and already she was aching to see him again. Cat was certain a great deal of it had to do with the sheer _newness_ of it all. She wondered if this was how her cousin had felt, the moment she had realized she was in love. Then she grinned, realizing that it was far more likely Thea had felt irritated, exasperated, or downright furious at the outset of her feelings.

Still, this was… it was _wonderful_. Cat could not remember the last time she had felt this happy, if she ever had. Being with Nate felt so utterly and completely right. Barely a day together, and she was already having to frequently remind herself to slow down and take some time to actually get to know the man. And yet, she still could not shake the feeling she already did know him; that she had met him once before.

She shook her head, sitting down at her vanity to comb her hair, brush her teeth, and otherwise make herself look presentable. She had just finished changing into a fresh dress when there was another quiet knock at her door. When she answered it, Nate was waiting for her, a small but hopeful smile on his lips. He offered her his arm, and she accepted the gesture, her heart skipping a beat when he squeezed hers gently.

“Thank you,” she said, “For agreeing to join us. If we do not eat together Thea has a bad habit of skipping the meal altogether. But do not worry: breakfast is always family only, so it will just be us, Thea, Loghain, and Anora since she is visiting for the wedding.”

“I admit, I am a bit nervous,” he confided to her. “After all, I am only a common man from a small village. I am not used to such noble company, and I did not realize Queen Anora would be present, though I suppose it makes sense.”

“You will do fine,” Cat reassured him, briefly resting her head against his shoulder. “Nora is not nearly so intimidating as her father, or as Thea. Hers is a much more… she has a different sort of strength, I suppose.”

Nate nodded thoughtfully. “May I ask a rather impertinent question, before we join the others?”

“Of course,” Cat said, looking up at him expectantly.

He considered for a moment, then asked, “Does it not bother the queen that Thea is… well… how do I put this…”

Cat laughed, pausing in the hallway to press a hand to her midriff. “That Thea is just barely six months older than she is and is still marrying Nora’s father? No, Nate, it does not bother her in the slightest. For one thing, Loghain was rather young when he had Anora; not quite twenty-one himself. For another, the three of us have been close friends for a number of years, and she and Thea get on particularly well. And finally, who do you think it was that nudged them together in the first place?”

“You’re joking?” Nate gave a small laugh of his own. “Well she clearly knew what she was doing.”

Cat shrugged as they entered the kitchen. “She always does. It is why she and Thea get on so well, I think. In any case, she is going to adore you. You already have Thea’s approval; the rest will fall into place easily enough I think.” They approached a small dining alcove set aside from the bustle of the kitchen proper. Thea, Loghain, and Anora were already seated in front of a window through which sunlight was already spilling, Thea sipping a cup of coffee with her legs draped over her fiancé’s lap as he absently spread butter on a biscuit while reviewing the morning’s correspondence. Anora had already prepared a pot of tea, and poured a cup for herself and Cat as she sat down.

“’Morning,” Thea said, clearly still only half awake. Cat had to guess the cup of coffee in her hand was her first of the morning. “Sleep well?”

“I did,” Cat replied carefully. She knew perfectly well Loghain had already seen Nate in her room this morning, which meant Thea knew he had been there. “Better than I have been.”

“I imagine so,” Loghain noted. His tone was perfectly conversational, but there was just the faintest hint of a smile on his lips as he passed half of the biscuit to Thea, who began nibbling on it without argument for once.

Cat resisted the urge to sigh. “You are near as bad as she is, you know this, yes?”

“Such are my aspirations,” he shrugged, handing over the plate of crisp bacon that had just been brought from the kitchen.

Anora shook her head, but there was a fond smile on her lips and she shot Cat a subtle wink before she spoke. “Honestly, both of you are the worst,” she sighed as she extended a delicate hand to Nate. “It is lovely to meet you, Nate. Thea has told me a bit about you, and I am certain we will get to know each other better in the coming days. I know both she and my father were quite pleased you were able to make it.”

Cat looked sharply at Anora, but the other woman either did not notice or decided not to acknowledge it; like Thea, it was difficult to tell whether it was calculated or not. Either way, her statement had raised a new question: why in the world would Thea and Loghain care one way or another that Nate, a man they had ostensibly never met, had shown up for their wedding? Before she could fully process her thoughts, Anora spoke again.

“How are you finding Gwaren, Nate?”

“Very pleasant,” Nate answered. Cat gave his hand a soft squeeze under the table, and he smiled at her. “I look forward to exploring more of the area while I am here. It is so different from South Reach.”

“And I am sure Cat will be more than happy to accompany you,” Thea interjected smoothly. “Loghain and I would of course have liked to show you more of the teyrnir ourselves, however our plates are rather full at the moment.”

“Indeed,” Loghain said, pinching the bridge of his nose briefly. “I have to meet with the Antivan ambassador today, try and renegotiate the sea lane taxes.”

“And Dorian and I have to ride out to the west hamlet and investigate the rumors of necromancy.” Thea’s nose crinkled. “Maker but I hate undead. Still, we need to take care of it now before it becomes a bigger problem. It may just be a minor demon infestation, but if there is a rogue necromancer hiding out there I want them gone.”

“Thea,” Cat spoke up, “You also have-”

“My final dress fitting at one, and a consultation with Leliana’s baker contact at four, yes. I am aware.” A deceptively innocent smile crept over Thea’s face. “Honestly, Catkin, I am not a child. I am twenty-eight years old and perfectly capable of making it to my appointments without a minder.”

“All evidence to the contrary,” Cat pointed out dryly, but part of her knew Thea was being sincere. Whatever her motivations may be, she clearly was making sure Cat would have a free day to spend with Nate, and Cat was not going to complain. “And have you had your dress for the ball pressed? Did your masks arrive safely?”

“Unfortunately,” Loghain muttered. Cat knew he hated wearing the masks; had declared them ‘unbearably Orlesian,’ but she also knew he would do it anyways. “Although there is still time to lose them…”

“Don’t you dare,” Anora said flatly. “I had those designed by the best smith in Denerim specifically for the two of you, and this will be the first time you both wear the wyvern together.”

Thea threw up her hands in mock surrender. “Very well, Nora, you win,” she laughed. “We will suffer the indignity if it means so much to you.”

“The wyvern?” Nate asked.

“The sigil of Gwaren,” Cat explained. “This will be the first time Thea will wear it.”

“Not strictly true,” Thea corrected. “I have worn my wyvern locket for nearly two years. This is simply the first time I will be doing so in such a public fashion.”

“That is… very romantic.” Nate’s voice was soft, and his fingers laced with Cat’s beneath the table, making her heart race and her vision swim briefly.

Anora smiled. “Exactly. Although speaking of the public,” she turned to Thea and Loghain with a wry twist to her face, “You owe me this much simply to make up for the absolutely interminable temper tantrum I had to put up with from Isolde Guerrin. She is beyond furious her family was not invited to the wedding.”

“Of course they were not,” Thea snorted. “Perhaps she should have thought of that before her husband attempted to stage a coup and seize your throne for his politically inept nephew. Then again, she would still be an insufferable, self-important shrew, so it would likely not make much difference on measure.”

“The Guerrins? That is… Redcliffe, yes?” Nate asked.

“Yes,” Anora replied quickly before Thea could. “They are a… difficult… family. Fortunately, they are in a minority, and they were never a real threat after my husband died. I had the support of the Couslands and, of course, my father. Between them and the support I had from our foreign contacts, there was never a question as to whether or not I would remain on the throne.”

“My family would never abandon you, Nora,” Cat assured her. “You are a brilliant and effective ruler.”

“And it will be a cold day in the void before Margot and I pull our support for you,” Thea added.

“Yes, and the fact you are marrying my father certainly does not hurt my case any,” Anora noted with a small smile as she sipped her tea.

Nate chuckled quietly at her side, and Cat looked up at him with a smile of her own. “It is remarkable how sheltered we are from high politics in South Reach,” he noted. “For what it is worth, your majesty, I am also immensely glad you remained on your throne.”

“Please, Nate,” Anora smiled, glancing briefly at Cat, “If it is just us, you may call me Nora.”

“I- Thank you,” Nate nodded, and Cat could almost feel the surprise in his body. “I feel immensely fortunate to have been so welcomed here. It almost feels…” He hesitated, and Cat noticed Thea watching him intently, something in the younger woman’s eyes that Cat could not quite decipher.

“As though you have come home?” She asked softly, and Nate looked at her, a trace of confusion in his expression.

“Yes.”

———————————————————————————— 

“What are you not telling me, Thea?”

Thea set her hands on the edge of the sink where she had just deposited a load of breakfast dishes. She slowly turned to face Cat, her expression a mask of neutrality. “What do you mean, Catkin?”

Cat stepped closer, maintaining eye contact. “You know perfectly well what I mean. I do not know how, but you know something you are not telling me, _or_ him.”

“Is it not enough for me to simply like him?” Thea asked, keeping her tone nonchalant. “Really, Cat, I have not the slightest idea where you are getting this from.”

“Because you do not like anybody!” Cat pointed out, her impatience gaining a rare foothold over her normally serene personality. “At least you certainly do not like any of the men who have ever been interested in me before. And you have welcomed Nate into your inner circle _hours_ after meeting him. You have never been so quick to accept someone, or to trust them. There is something about him that is different, and I do not think for a single moment it is a simple matter of you ‘just knowing’ so do not pull that with me; not this time.”

Thea shrugged, her expression not changing a whit. “In that case, is it not simply enough that I am happy for you? That I have seen the way _you_ react to him, and how the two of you have barely been parted since you met? Perhaps I disliked every other man who came fawning over you because they so clearly did not make you feel the way you deserve to feel.”

Cat stared at her flatly. “You nearly made the Theirin boy cry.”

Thea rolled her eyes. “Oh I did not. Much.”

Cat threw up her hands in frustration. “Thea, you are hiding something from me. I do not know what, but I do know that I deserve to be told. You cannot treat my life like one of your puzzles to be solved!”

“Catkin, life _is_ a series of puzzles to be solved,” Thea replied evenly. “I am simply better at solving them than most.” She sighed, and for the first time Cat thought she might see a crack in the carefully curated façade Thea had been maintaining. “Cat, I love you. You know damn well I would never willingly do anything to hurt you. I would sooner slit my own wrists.”

“Oh, Thea,” Cat exhaled deeply, trying to regain her own calm composure. “I know. I love you, too. You were my sister long before mother and father formally adopted you. But that means I know you, and I know you have a tendency to pull strings and weave webs and keep your own counsel.”

Thea raised a hand to her face, pinching the bridge of her nose as her eyes squeezed shut. “Cat, I have a great deal on my mind. Loghain and I are still running the teyrnir in addition to preparing for the ball and for the wedding. I am sorry I do not dislike Nathaniel as much as you would like me to, and I will endeavor to do so at a later date, but perhaps you could simply grant me a few more days in which to sort everything else out? Then…” She bit her lower lip briefly, then met Cat’s eyes once more. “Then I promise I will answer any question you have.”

Cat stared at her for a long moment. “You called him ‘Nathaniel.’”

For just a whisper of time a look of blind fear flashed over Thea’s storm blue eyes. It was only there for a moment; so brief no one save for Cat or Loghain would have ever noticed, and it was gone nearly as soon as it had appeared. Thea shrugged again. “Slip of the tongue. The last Nate I knew was a Nathaniel by birth. He was one of the old tradesmen who used to come through Highever when we were children and always had interesting stories to tell.”

“Yes, I remember,” Cat replied slowly. She was more certain than ever that Thea was not telling her something; something important. She also knew, however, that brute force was not going to get her anywhere. And if Thea promised her answers, Cat knew she would keep her word. “You swear we will talk after your wedding?”

“I will do you one better,” Thea countered. “Just let us get through this damnable ball you and Anora insisted on. Then you and I can sit down together, have a nice cup of your favorite tea, and puzzle out anything you would like.”

“You promise?”

Thea placed a delicate hand over her heart, bowing her head slightly. “You have my word, Catkin. Now, if you will excuse me, I was not kidding about having to ride out to the west hamlet. I would like to get it taken care of early enough I can ride back and get a good bath before my appointment with Vivienne.” She wrinkled her nose. “Nothing smells quite like corpses, and I will need at least three good scrubbings.”

Cat could not help but giggle at that. “May I ask you one more thing, Thea?”

Thea seemed to hesitate a moment, but nodded. “Of course.”

“What was…” Cat took a deep breath. “What did it feel like? When you realized you were in love?”

“Ah,” Thea replied, a surprisingly soft smile curving at her lips. “Well, I was furious for one thing. I had fully planned on remaining alone and free for the rest of my days. Then _he_ had to come along and ruin all my carefully laid plans. But Loghain was different, Cat: he was the first man who treated me with respect, and who appreciated my wit and intelligence rather than just my body, though of course I later learned just how well he appreciated that, too.”

“Thea!” Cat protested, but her cousin just smiled more broadly and they both knew she was not truly offended.

“He liked me, for _me_ , Cat,” Thea continued, her tone softer. “Not because of my connection to you, or Bryce and Eleanor. Not because of Margot. He simply cared for me. The moment I realized I loved him, I felt as if the world had finally fallen into place, even though I had not thought it to be broken. And as impossible as it sounds, I have fallen more in love with him every single day since then.”

“Thank you, Thea,” Cat said quietly. “I think I have a great deal to think about.”

“Anytime, Catkin.” Thea leaned up and pressed a kiss to her cheek. “Enjoy your day. Perhaps you and Nate would like to join us for dinner?”

Cat smiled to herself.

“Perhaps.”

——————————————————————————————

“So, did she tell you anything new?”

Cat sighed. “Of course not,” she answered, her arm slipping easily around Nate’s as though it were a habit rather than a new and admittedly still exciting gesture. “To be blunt, I did not expect her to. Thea rarely lies, and never to me, but she is wickedly intelligent and knows how to omit truths or twist her words such that she also obscures the truth if she has the need. Again, that is rare, but it has happened. But you were right: she knows something. She must.”

“I just do not understand the secrecy,” Nate said, his brow furrowing as they walked out of Castle Gwaren and towards the gardens. “She seems to like me well enough.”

“Exactly,” Cat replied dryly. “That in and of itself is incredibly suspicious. Thea is a lovely person, truly, and she is fiercely loyal, but she is slow to like anyone, and even slower to trust them. We are talking a matter of months, if not years, and yet you spent twenty minutes with her and she is already treating you like family.”

“Hmm. That is… odd,” he admitted. “Think I should be worried?”

“No, I don’t think so,” Cat giggled. “She is not one to pretend to like someone she does not. And since she seems to mostly be concerned with nudging the two of us together, I think we should simply enjoy it.”

“Oh, I intend to,” Nate assured her, the warmth in his tone sending a pleasant shiver down her spine. “So. Where are you taking me?”

Cat slipped her hand into her pocket and withdrew an elegantly wrought iron key. “Someplace no one else will find us,” she said, looking up and giving him a soft smile as they reached a high stone wall at the borders of the formal gardens. Nearly hidden by a wall of ivy stood an unassuming wooden door, and it was into this that Cat slipped the key, pushing it open and stepping inside. She waited patiently as Nate followed, his grey eyes going wide as he took everything in.

“This garden is mine,” she explained. “When I moved here, I asked Thea and Loghain for a space of my own; somewhere I could escape to. I am the only one who comes here, save for Castle Gwaren’s master gardener, and even she always consults with me before she makes any changes or does any maintenance.”

“It’s beautiful,” he breathed softly. It was not a large space, but Cat loved it. Towering trees cast dappled shadows on the verdant plant life that sprawled over the ground. A stone fountain whispered soft streams of water over delicately carved wildflowers, and neatly tended garden beds cradled herbs, flowers, and other miscellaneous greenery Cat used for her teas, or that she simply found aesthetically pleasing. Nate stepped away from her, his eyes taking in the quiet scene, before he finally sat down on a well-worn garden swing, holding his arms out too her.

She laughed, stepping lightly into his arms and falling gracefully into the spot beside him, stretching out over the seat and resting her head on his lap as he gently teased the copper waves of her hair with his fingers. Her eyelids fluttered shut, her mind occupied solely with the delicate scents coaxed from her flowers by the early summer sun, the hushed sounds of water and bird and leaf, and the way Nate’s body felt against hers. Neither of them spoke for a long while, content to simply be together and to let the rest of the world fall away for a time.

“I am probably being a terrible hostess,” Cat murmured drowsily. “I was supposed to be showing you more of the teyrnir.”

“You cannot possibly show me anything more beautiful than what I have already seen,” he replied, leaning down and brushing a kiss against her lips. “I would happily spend the rest of my time here gazing upon nothing else but you, Cataline.”

“You have a remarkable way with words,” she teased, finally opening her eyes again to meet his gaze. “I only wish I shared that talent. I fear I am tripping over my words far often than I am accustomed to every since you arrived.”

“On that, Cat, we will have to disagree,” Nate smiled, brushing a stray lock of hair away from her eyes. “I have heard very few people speak with your eloquence or grace.”

Cat was happy. Perhaps the happiest she had ever been. She had to assume it was that happiness, paired with the benign intoxication of the garden, that made her more bold than she usually was. Whatever the cause, she decided to ask of him what she had wanted to all day, before she once again lost her courage.

“Nate… the ball, on Thursday? Would you perhaps go with me?”

“Oh, Cat,” he bent and pressed a long, soft kiss against her lips. “I would be honored. But surely there are more… well… important people you could go with? I admit I am amazed no one has yet spoken for you. What will your family say?”

Cat sat up, tucking her legs neatly beneath her as she nestled up against Nate’s chest, and she could feel him breathe a sigh of contentment when his head rested against hers. “You _are_ important. And for the record, I am perfectly capable of deciding when and if I wish to be spoken for. My parents have never demanded I marry someone against my wishes, so I imagine a matter as simple as a ball will not cause them much anxiety. And you know perfectly well Thea and Loghain will approve, and we are on their lands and in their hall. No one would dare challenge the sanctuary they have offered to another.”

“In that case,” he chuckled quietly, “I would be an idiot to refuse. I would love to accompany you, Cat, so long as you will not be offended by my mediocre dancing skills or my ignorance of foreign affairs.”

“I’ll not be offended in the slightest,” she reassured him. “And I am sure your dancing is just fine. And if not, well…” She allowed herself a small smile.

“I am sure we can find other things to amuse us.”


	8. Chapter 8

“I feel as though I have gone mad.”

“Oh, hush,” Thea said, one foot lazily dangling from the tree branch Nate had eventually found her lounging on. “For one thing, you do not seem even the slightest bit mad to me, and I should know, having been frequently accused of it myself. For another, there is a much simpler, much more obvious conclusion to reach.”

“And do you plan on enlightening me?” He deadpanned, leaning back against the trunk of the tree, balancing on his own arboreal perch. Nate had been trying to catch her alone for the past two days, deciding against his own better judgement to try and either deduce what she was hiding, or at the very least get a better feeling for how she felt about the time and attention he had been dedicating to Cataline. However, with the immense amount of work and planning demanding her attention, Thea had been remarkably difficult to pin down. He felt bad about intruding on what was most likely the only rest she’d had in days, but Loghain had said she was expecting him, and so he had followed the teyrn’s instructions to Thea’s favorite climbing tree.

Thea laughed, the sound bright in the quiet of the woods around them. “Honestly, Nate, I know you are more clever than this. You are head over heels in love with her, you loon.”

Nate blinked rapidly, then coughed in an attempt to cover the fact his jaw had just dropped. “What gives you that idea?”

Thea rolled her eyes, the gesture somehow achingly familiar, though Nate could not quite say why. “Lie to yourself if you must, Nate, but do not lie to me. You think we have not noticed you spending every moment of the day, and most nights, with her?”

He felt a flush rise in his cheeks. “I have not… there has been absolutely nothing untoward…”

“Well that is hardly my fault, now is it?” Thea replied primly, eyebrows raised. “If the two of you are holding back out of some misplaced sense of propriety, you ought to know you are wasting your energy as I quite honestly do not give a damn. Loghain and I have been sleeping together since the first night we were together.”

“It is not that,” Nate said, recovering some of his composure which, he now realized, was most likely what Thea was prodding him into. “Cat deserves to have me do things right. And that includes waiting until she is ready to… well, to take that step. I am content to wait, until the end of time if need be.”

“Oh, I very much doubt it will be that long,” Thea said, a half-smile lilting at her lips. “However, you are rather neatly proving my point: you would not be taking such care if you simply intended to fuck her in a backroom and then leave her behind to return to South Reach. Nor would you be asking around the city about work or lodging.”

He looked at her in surprise. “You know about that?”

“Of course I do,” she shrugged, retrieving a small silver flask engraved with a wolf from her trouser pocket. She took a swig, then offered it to him. He accepted, letting the pleasant warmth of a very good whiskey slide down his throat before she continued. “Nate, I am to be teyrna in two days. For all intents and purposes, I have been ever since the day I moved here. It is my job to know things.”

“You have someone in town, don’t you?” Nate asked, a small smile on his face.

Thea’s answering laugh was pleased. “Several someones, if you must know,” she confirmed. “In this case, though, Cat’s friend and Anora’s spymaster, Leliana, happened to overhear you speaking with the smith.”

“You do not seem displeased by the idea of my relocation,” he pressed carefully, and she shook her head.

“I am displeased you did not come to me, first,” she retorted. “I could have saved you a great deal of time and effort. If you intend to move here, come work with me.”

He looked at her for a long moment as she took another sip, seemingly unconcerned with his skepticism or his silence. “Work with you?”

“Mmm,” she nodded. “It is no longer practical for me to continue running my portion of Seawolf & Steed on my own, not while also adhering to my duties as teyrna. I need intelligent, trustworthy, talented help. Perhaps equally important, I require someone I like, as I have been told I can be ‘difficult’ when I am in a mood.” Thea looked away, and for a moment Nate saw something almost sad in her eyes. “It would be good to have you here, Nate. You already know it will make Cat happy. Now I am telling you it will please me as well, for whatever difference that makes in your decision.”

“I see,” he nodded slowly, “And what of your future husband? Has he any input in this matter?”

The half-smile returned to Thea’s lips. “Of course. It is the same as mine, naturally. He finds your company agreeable. No small feat in and of itself, I will have you know. And if I am being completely candid,” she gave a small sigh, “It is good to have someone around he enjoys spending time with.”

Nate considered this. Really, he had enjoyed spending time with the teryn. Loghain was quiet and reserved at first, but they had bonded over the archery range and their mutual amused exasperation of Thea’s piques. Loghain was a good man at heart, intelligent and well-spoken despite his reticence, and Nate found himself relating to him often in their brief acquaintance. Yes, he had found friends in Thea and Loghain. But oh, _maker_ , what he had found with Cat…

“I am pleased to hear it,” he said. “I would be lying if I said these past few days have not been the best in my memory, incomplete as it is. It would also be a lie to say your offer is not incredibly tempting. May I have some time to consider it?”

Thea inclined her head slightly. “Of course. I realize it is a great deal to take in. So,” she slipped the flask back into her pocket and began descending the tree. “Are you ready for the ball tonight?”

“As ready as I can be, I think,” Nate responded carefully. “I fear I may be a bit out of place. And… and Cat mentioned your parents would be there. She wants to introduce me to them.”

Thea actually laughed at that; a real, genuine laugh. “Oh Nate, you do not need to worry about Bryce and Eleanor. I mean, they raised _me_. You would be hard-pressed to horrify them. They will adore you, I am certain of it.”

“You do not think they will find me unworthy of their daughter?” He asked quietly, hopping down out of the tree after her. Her expression softened just slightly, and she tucked her arm through his and squeezed it gently.

“Nate, I am at a loss as to why you think you would ever be considered unworthy,” she chided, though her tone was not unkind. “You are incredibly intelligent and well-spoken, kind, thoughtful, strong, and a bit of a smartass, which will make them like you all the more.”

Nate felt his heart warm. He was still not certain why, but Thea’s approval… no, her _friendship_ , meant a great deal to him. He liked the tempestuous woman, and the rare show of open kindness she was sharing with him gave him hope. “Thank you, Teddy Girl,” he said.

She stopped dead in her tracks, and when he looked at her, he saw her already fair skin had gone deathly pale. “What did you call me?”

He paused, his brow furrowed. “I… hm. Teddy Girl? I am not certain where it came from, but it seemed to fit for some reason. I apologize; I did not mean to saddle you with an unwanted endearment.”

“No, Nate, I… I love it,” she looked up at him, and for a moment he could swear there was the faintest sheen of tears in her eyes, and he was briefly alarmed. But she gave him a playful poke in the ribs with her elbow, and they resumed their walk. “And you are right: it does rather suit me, I think, given my perhaps irrational attachment to my beloved Teddy Bear.”

Nate chuckled. “Perhaps that is where I came up with it. Have you had him since you were a child?”

She nodded, pushing open the door to the castle. “Mmhmm. Teddy has been my steadfast companion for many years. Since I was nine, actually. He was… he was a gift from my best friend.” Her tone drifted slightly wistful. “We were always off on some adventure or another. Bryce even took to calling me ‘little shadow’ because of the way I was always trailing after them.”

He considered for a moment before deciding to press his luck. “What happened to her?”

Thea was quiet for a long time. “‘He’, actually. And he… he disappeared. During the war.”

“Oh, Thea,” he stopped in the hall and, before he could think better of it, he wrapped her in a bear hug, holding her close. “I am so sorry. Were the two of you, well, _more_ than friends?”

For some reason, this made her laugh. “Oh, Maker no,” she replied. “No, love. Loghain is the first and only person I have ever been with, though that is not exactly common knowledge.” She took his hands in hers for a moment, seemingly lost in thought before she shook her head and then nodded in the direction of his room. “Wait here a bit. I have something for you.”

Before he could open his mouth to ask any more questions, Thea had swept off down the hall, her bare feet padding silently towards her and Loghain’s room at the end. Nate shook his head, but did as she asked and stepped into his room, sitting on the sofa and looking out over the rolling landscape of Gwaren and the capricious crashing of the Amaranthine Ocean. Only a few minutes had passed before Thea returned, holding something that had been carefully wrapped in a silk scarf. She settled down beside him, crossing her legs beneath her and handing over the object.

Frowning slightly, Nate accepted it, warily unwrapping the scarf. When he had done so, he blinked briefly in surprise and, for just a breath of time, he could swear he recognized what he held in his hands. It was a mask, finely wrought of almost impossibly thin sheets of silver and painstakingly crafted into the features of a wolf. He swallowed against the lump in his throat, fingers lightly tracing the details on the mask before he finally looked back up at Thea, who in turn seemed to be studying him and waiting for his reaction.

“Thea, this is beautiful. I cannot possibly accept something this valuable-”

“I understand if you refuse out of discomfort,” she interrupted, her voice unusually subdued. “But it would mean a great deal to me. I… I had it made for my friend. The one who disappeared. I have held onto it all this time, perhaps too long, but now I believe I know why.” She gracefully unfolded herself from her seated position, rising smoothly to her feet but refusing to meet his eyes. “You are under no obligation to wear it, Nate. Of course, you’re not. But I also believe you are meant to have it. In the meantime, I must go get ready myself. You would not believe how long it takes to get into these ridiculous dresses.”

She stood up and walked towards the door. Before she left, Nate called out to her, a suspicion rising in his heart. “Thea? Why a wolf?”

Thea paused, her hand on the doorknob, but there was a small smile on her lips when she turned to answer.

“You will see.”

—————————————————————–

The ballroom was already abuzz with music, laughter, and muddled conversation when Nate finally gathered the courage to enter. He had spent an inordinate amount of time getting ready for the evening; more than he ever had before, certainly, and he was still not entirely certain of the results. Fortunately, there seemed to be little to no mind paid to his entrance, for which he was grateful.

The center of attention was, of course, Thea and Loghain. The pair of them were particularly striking this evening: him in black trousers and a shirt so blue as to nearly be black itself, and her in a sleeveless gown in the same midnight shade made of a material so light and sleek as to nearly be sheer, embroidered with dozens of golden stars. And of course, they both wore the golden wyvern mask, intricately wrought and delicately shaped to their faces such that they fit perfectly. The pair of them radiated power, even as they rolled their eyes at the festivities. Still, it was the woman beside them that truly caught Nate’s attention.

Cat was always beautiful. Nate was certain she could wear a burlap sack and still be the single most stunning person on the planet. Yet tonight, she had managed to surpass herself. She had chosen a flowing, ethereal gown of lilac silk belted at her waist with a delicate weaving of golden wildflowers and vines and haltered neatly around her neck with a ribbon in the same shimmering hue. The silky waves of her hair had been left to fall down her back in a coppery curtain, and even behind the elegant golden mask she wore, her violet eyes sparkled as they searched the room for something, or someone. Then, her gaze caught his own, and Nate felt his breath catch in his throat.

He had not even realized it at first, but Cataline’s mask was a golden, more delicate version of his own: that of a wolf. Suddenly, Thea’s gift made a great deal more sense, and a great deal less all in the same instant. He moved towards her, the steps more instinct than anything else, as he found himself so taken with her that any sort of higher thought processes were rapidly falling by the wayside. For a few breathless moments, the rest of the guests fell away from Nate’s vision, and his entire world was held in her eyes.

“My lady,” he said, bowing low and brushing a kiss to the back of her hand, his gaze meeting hers as he rose.

“I am so glad you are here,” she murmured, slipping her arm easily around his. When she looked up, there was a sparkle of something amused in her expression. “And I appreciate your choice of mask.”

“If I am being entirely honest, I did not pick it,” Nate admitted, nodding in the direction of Thea. “Your cousin gave it to me.”

Cat laughed softly. “Of course she did,” she replied, before her tone grew more thoughtful. “It suits you, I think,” she added, giving his arm a squeeze.

“Of course it does,” came a familiar voice from behind them, and they turned to face Thea and Loghain as they approached. Nate inclined his head, and managed to catch a glimpse of Thea’s bare feet in the progress. He raised an eyebrow in her direction, and even behind their respective masks she caught the gesture, earning him a brief smile before she spoke again. “I knew it would. Besides, this way the two of you are coordinated. Makes it less likely anyone else will try to make a move.”

There was a faint dusting of pink in Cat’s cheeks, but Nate simply laughed. “Thea, you are either the worst or the best, I cannot decide.”

“That does seem to be the general consensus,” she nodded. “I will not take much of your time: we must make the rounds, and I know Nora was looking for us earlier. Besides, I believe I just saw Bryce and Eleanor arrive. I am sure they are very interested in meeting you.”

Nate felt his stomach twist into a knot, but the hand Thea placed on his arm was a comforting one. “You will do fine, Nate,” she said under her breath, then shot a wink at Cat before she and Loghain moved off to greet more of their guests. He took a deep breath, and was surprised to hear Cat doing the same at his side.

“I have never done this before,” she whispered, gently leading him towards the couple that had just entered the room.

“Done what?”

She gave a slightly sheepish shrug. “Introduced my parents to a man I cared for.”

He stopped short, looking at her in disbelief. “Truly? Not once?”

She shook her head, the soft light of the candles making her mask glitter. “No. You are the first.”

“If I may be so bold, Cataline,” he whispered as he bent down and pressed a kiss to her cheek, “I sincerely hope to be the last.”

“Maker, you really are going to make me blush,” she chided him, but her face had lit up in a heartbreakingly radiant smile. “Though, in the interest of honestly,” she arched up onto her toes, her lips brushing lightly against his lips, “That is my intent.”

He could not help but smile back, though the expression faltered slightly when they stopped in front of a tall man with dark auburn hair fading to gold and kind chestnut eyes, and a graceful women with a posture of quiet strength and intense blue eyes that seemed to be taking in the entire room at once and making extensive notes. They both smiled as Cat approached and embraced them.

“Mother. Father.” She stepped back towards him, looping her arms through his once more. “How was the journey from Highever?”

“Well enough,” Eleanor Cousland replied evenly. “The seas were calm, thank the Maker. I see someone managed to get darling Thea into her mask and gown, though I would bet my last sovereign she’s not bothered to put on her slippers.”

Cat giggled. “And it would be a safe bet,” she agreed. “Really, you ought to be more impressed Nora finally convinced her father to cooperate. The words ‘damned Orlesian nonsense’ were thrown about more than once, I understand.”

“Oh, Loghain is just like that,” Bryce chuckled. “He has to put up a token protest, but he knows this is important to Anora and, though she would never once admit it, to our Thea. That man would give her the world if she asked it of him. Speaking of…” He extended a hand to Nate and, when Nate accepted the gesture, he shook it warmly. “A pleasure to meet you. I am Bryce Cousland, teyrn of Highever, and this is my lovely wife, Teyrna Eleanor. Based on the way my daughter looks to be floating on air, I am guessing you are the lucky man who has finally caught her interest.”

“‘Lucky’ is certainly the correct word,” Nate agreed, inclining his head slightly. “I am Nate, most recently of South Reach. Your daughter is a remarkable woman, and our brief acquaintance has resulted in the best days of my life.”

“The best days of your life so far,” Bryce teased. “You must be something special, Nate. Our little Catkin has turned down every man who has strutted into Highever.”

“Indeed,” Eleanor remarked, her tone still carefully polite. “What is it you do, exactly, Nate?”

“I manage Cullen and Elina’s clinic,” he replied, “And do some other odd jobs around the place. Nothing elaborate: some carpentry and smithing, hunting, tracking, that sort of thing.”

Eleanor raised an eyebrow. “I see. And what of your family? Your surname?”

Nate could feel Cat tensing up beside him, but he kept his tone civil as he replied. “That, I am afraid I cannot answer, my lady. Cullen and Elina found me wandering in the woods nearly ten years ago with no memory of who I was or where I came from. I have been rebuilding my life since that moment.”

“Hm. Convenient,” Eleanor replied, the word revealing more than her tone would imply. “And how do you know Thea and Loghain, exactly?”

“I don’t, or rather, I didn’t before I arrived for the wedding,” he explained. “I came with the Rutherfords.”

“And Thea had nothing to say about this?” Eleanor asked, studying him with open skepticism now. “One must wonder what exactly _does_ make you so special, Nate of South Reach, that you have so thoroughly enchanted both my daughters. What is it about you that has so captured Cataline’s interest?”

“Is it not enough that he makes me happy, mother?” Cataline finally spoke up, her voice little more than a whisper but burning with barely suppressed anger. And with that, she turned neatly on her heel and quickly walked away.

“Cataline, come back,” her mother called after her, but Cat ignored it. Eleanor breathed a heavy sigh. “Honestly, Nate, I meant nothing by it…”

“Of course you did, Eleanor,” Thea spoke up quietly as she approached them. “You are a mother worrying for your daughter; however, you went about it in exactly the wrong way. Cataline is an intelligent, sensitive, intuitive young woman and you do not give her enough credit. If you will not trust her judgement, then trust mine: I would trust this man with my own life, a judgement I do not make lightly. Furthermore, he has Loghain’s faith, and I _know_ you understand how rare that is.”

“I… I see,” Eleanor said, her tone subdued, then turned to face him. “I do apologize, Nate. My daughters are correct: I should not make such unfounded judgements. It is simply so surprising that, after all this time, Cat should have finally, and so quickly, fallen for anyone. And perhaps even more surprising that Thea has not made an attempt to chase you off yet.”

Nate gave a small nod. “I can understand your reservations, my lady,” he replied with more grace than he was truly feeling at the moment. “I accept your apology.”

“You have my thanks,” she said, releasing a small breath. “I should probably go and find my daughter and make amends with her.”

“No, Eleanor,” Thea shook her head. “Nate will go. I need your help here, tending to the guests. Anora has brought some rather unfortunate news that Loghain and I must deal with immediately.”

Eleanor frowned slightly before her eyes went wide. “No…”

Thea held up a hand with a look of warning, and Eleanor stopped short. She gave a brief nod and then a final apologetic glance in his direction, then she and her husband wandered in the general direction of Anora. Thea watched them go, then slipped her hand into his and gave it a brief squeeze.

“Please forgive Eleanor,” she spoke under her breath. “She worries for Cat far more than she would ever admit, and to be blunt I think she still struggles with the knowledge Oren is likely to be her only grandchild, unless Fergus and Oriana decide to have another. Neither Cat nor I will be giving her one. It is no excuse to take the frustrations out on you, but there you have it. Now,” she released his hand and squared her shoulders, an alarming spark lighting up her eyes. “If you will excuse me, Loghain and I need to handle an… unwanted… guest.”

—————————————————————————- 

Nate knew exactly where he would find her, and he was not disappointed. He untied the ribbon holding his mask to his face. He wanted to face her as he was: a simple man from the backwaters of Ferelden, with no past, no surname, and nothing much to offer her beyond his love. Because Thea was right: he was in love with Cataline Cousland, and he intended to tell her. He carefully tested the door to her garden, and was relieved when it swung open, unlocked.

“You know, I do not believe I have ever been so embarrassed in my entire life,” Cat spoke bitterly, not looking up as he approached. “Which, given some of Thea’s antics, is impressive.”

“She is a worried mother, Cat,” Nate said softly, sitting down beside her on the garden swing and taking her hands in his. “She raised you and Thea, so I am certain she is a lovely person under most circumstances.”

Cat breathed a heavy sigh. “She is,” she conceded. “Still, the way she judged you was so infuriating…”

He wrapped his arms around her, and she nestled close against his chest before speaking again. “I am tired, Nate,” she said quietly. “I am so damn tired of living under someone else’s expectations. My mother expects me to bear children, my father expects me to keep my brother grounded, society as a whole expects me to be the perfect example of a dutiful noblewoman, because how could a Cousland daughter be anything but?”

“They must have lost their collective minds when Thea’s engagement was announced,” Nate pointed out dryly, and Cat gave a small giggle.

“Perhaps,” she admitted. “And Thea and Loghain are the only people who have not put any such expectations on me, but… but here, I will never be _Cataline_. I will be the teyrna’s sister. So I have made a decision.” She took a deep breath, and Nate felt his heart contract tightly. “I am leaving, Nate. I am leaving Gwaren, maybe leaving Ferelden, for however long it takes me to figure things out. I need a chance to be _me_ , and to set my own expectations. And,” she sat up straight, the moonlight shining in her eyes as they met his, “I want you to come with me.”

“Yes,” Nate answered, perhaps a little too quickly, but he did not regret it a bit when he saw the brilliant smile that bloomed over Cat’s face. “Cat, I would follow you to the end of the world, and then one step further.” He leaned down, brushing his lips briefly to hers before he spoke again. “I have spent the last ten years trying to remember who I was; who I was supposed to be. Now, for the first time, I want to know who I will become. And whoever that is, I want to discover it with you.”

“You have no idea how impossibly happy you have made me, Nate,” Cat whispered, threading her fingers through his hair as she leaned up to kiss the tip of his nose. “After the wedding, though. It will be hard enough leaving Thea behind, and I do not want to ruin this for her. Besides, that will give us some time to plan and decide where we want to go.”

“Deal,” he replied, unable to keep from smiling himself. “And for the record? You have made me impossibly happy too. More than I ever thought I deserved to be.”

She gave another sigh, softer this time, and expressing contentment rather than frustration.

“Perhaps we both deserve more than we thought, Nate.”

——————————————————————–

He could not sleep.

Not surprising, perhaps, given everything that had transpired that evening. Nate felt as though he was floating, and his mind was wide awake and racing with all the implications of the decision he had made. That _they_ had made. He was excited, and nervous, and yet utterly certain. For the first time since he had woken up in South Reach, he felt as though he were exactly where he belonged, doing exactly what he was meant to be doing.

His eyes had finally begun to drift shut when he felt a sudden pull on his consciousness. Nate could not really explain it, nor could he put a name to it, it just… it felt as though he were being called. Rolling out of bed, he slipped back into his day clothes and slipped out of his room, his path dictated by instinct rather than any deliberate choice.

The halls of Castle Gwaren were eerily silent and empty, save for an occasional guard or servant. None paid him any notice: it was almost as if Nate were invisible. He walked on, only peripherally aware of his surroundings as he passed them. In the vague corners of his consciousness he was aware of the wetness of dew as his bare feet met grass, and of the whisper of wind off the Amaranthine as it teased through his hair. Then, suddenly, he stopped.

He was at the door of a rather shabby looking tower. Nate surmised it may have once belonged to a mage or alchemist, but from all outward appearances it now seemed to be empty. There were an impressive number of chains and locks attached to it, and yet they all seemed to have fallen open. At first he assumed they had rusted through, but upon closer inspection he realized they were still in pristine condition; nearly new. His curiosity getting the better of him, Nate pushed the door open and stepped inside.

The lowest floor was in no better shape, though the stone stairs that wound around the perimeter seemed solid. He began ascending the staircase, guided only by the moonlight and starlight filtering in through the windows which had, somehow, remained intact. Two more floors in as much disarray as the first, but when he reached the top floor he was met by a surprisingly sturdy door. Once again, it looked as though there had once been extensive locks barring the door, but they were now undone.

There was a growing unease in the pit of his stomach, yet the pull he felt towards the room beyond the door was even more intense, and Nate carefully opened it. To his surprise, this room was flawlessly intact: there was a bed, neatly made, and a desk, though it was completely devoid of any accoutrement. There was a washstand and a bookshelf, also empty save for a single thin wooden case. Whatever was in that case… Nate could feel its call. That was what had drawn him here to this tower in the middle of the night. With cautious hands, he snapped open the well-oiled clasps and opened the box.

The contents were not at all what he expected. Frowning slightly, he reached into the case and produced a single, exquisitely crafted arrow. The workmanship was beyond fine: if he had to guess, he would say this had been a gift. A memento, rather than an object for practical use. He brought it closer to his eyes so the subtle moonlight shone on the gleaming wood that he could now see was carved with a series of delicate vines and wildflowers. It was a beautiful piece of workmanship, and Nate could not help but be slightly envious of whoever had been worthy of such a gift.

He ran his fingers slowly along the shaft of the arrow until his finger grazed upon something sharp. He lifted his hand to his face where, on the very tip of his index finger, he saw a drop of blood blooming from where the skin had met an unexpected splinter.

A single splinter.


	9. Chapter 9

Thea sat bolt upright in the bed she shared with Loghain.

A deep, overwhelming surge of energy had rolled through her body. It was the result of intense, powerful magic, and in that instant she knew what had happened. The one maker-damned thing she had been avoiding for nearly ten years, that had haunted her the entire time. Her heart was racing as she leapt out of bed, hurriedly throwing on a robe over her bare skin before she raced down to the end of the hall and stared out the window facing the east. It was not yet dawn, but even in the dim light she could see the distant tower and, worse, she could see what had sprung up between the tower and the borders of Gwaren proper. Her heart dropped into her stomach, and Thea resisted the urge to be sick on the floor. Only the warm, steady hand of her fiancé at her back held her steady.

“Maker damn it,” she spat, not bothering to lower her voice despite the early hour. “A few more hours… a few more fucking hours and we would have been in the clear. Do you think Rendon somehow triggered it?”

“I do not know, Theadosia,” Loghain whispered, shaking his head in muted disbelief as he stared out the window. “I am no authority on the arcane; even less so on whatever dark magicks Flemeth drew upon. All I know is that we are now out of time.”

“I should have killed him when I had the chance,” Thea hissed, rage boiling in her heart.

Loghain gave a brief snort, but she could feel the frustrated tension in his body. “And had a murder charge dropped at your feet? He had to give us a reason, and he finally did. And now he has crossed our borders, meaning his life is forfeit.”

Thea was shaking with either rage or fear or perhaps a mix of them both, and she leaned hard against Loghain’s chest as he held her. Assuming Anora’s information was accurate, and it always was, Rendon Howe was slinking about Gwaren. And he now had the exact same knowledge she did.

His eldest son was alive.

———————————————————————- 

Cat woke with a start and immediately had to fight down the urge to scream.

The desire was there, primal and raw in her heart, but it was overwhelmed by the sudden brilliant rush of knowledge that was flooding her mind at the moment: a series of memories and emotions and dreams half lost. It was too much, too quickly, but a single shining realization burned through it all.

_Nathaniel. Nathaniel Adrian Howe._

She tried to stand up and get out of bed, but she was almost immediately brought to her knees. Cat grabbed onto the bed post, struggling once more to her feet, now fueled by determination as well as her own blossoming hope. Nate of South Reach was Nathaniel Howe, son of the asp Rendon Howe, Thea’s best friend, and Cataline’s lover. They had intended to marry each other… he was going to relocate to Highever and they were going to start a life of their own away from the poisonous influences of his father.

Why in the void had she forgotten him? How had _everyone_ forgotten him?

_No…_ she realized as fury began building in her heart. _Not everyone._

She stumbled into the hallway. First, she threw open the door to Nathaniel’s bedroom, but it was empty. Then, she spotted Thea and Loghain at the end of the hall, staring out the window in horror. Thea turned to face her as Cat approached, and Cat greeted her with a swift slap across the face. Loghain took a step forward, but Thea stopped him with a simple gesture of her hand, facing Cat head on even as an angry red mark began to glow on her cheek.

“You _knew_.”

Thea was silent for a moment, then nodded slowly. “Yes, Cat. I knew.”

Cat raised her hand to slap her cousin across the face again, but this time Loghain caught her gently by the wrist. “Cataline, I know you are angry, but I will _not_ allow you to hurt her,” he said, his voice quiet but with a clear undercurrent of warning.

“Let me guess,” Cat shot back angrily, “You knew too.”

“I needed help to keep him safe, Cat,” Thea spoke again, her normally strong voice shaking. “If his father found him first…”

“What in the void does Rendon have to do with any of this?” Cat was nearly screaming now, but she was truly finding it difficult to care if she woke the whole damn keep.

“Who do you think bought the curse?” Thea managed a small, bitter smile. “I will admit, it took balls to blackmail the Witch of the Wilds into such a bargain, but he did. All these years, our only saving grace was that he never once demanded Nathaniel’s life: only that it seem as though he never existed. A matter of semantics to be sure, but one Flemeth was happy to take advantage of.”

Cat stared at her, and only a warning glance from Loghain stayed her hand. “A curse?” She asked incredulously. “That would be… that would take an _immense_ amount of power, Thea. And if Flemeth truly was responsible, Morrigan would have told me.”

Thea’s eyes dropped away, and Cat gave a sharp bark of laughter. “I see. She did not tell me, because she told _you_. You were the curse-bearer.”

Her cousin rolled up the sleeve of her robe, revealing a thin, clean scar along her left forearm. “Each year,” Thea spoke, her voice low, “I gave my lifeblood to keep his memory alive; to ensure that he would have a future to wake up to. And each year, my blood wicked away a fraction of the curse’s lethality.”

“Why,” Cat whispered, her anger now competing with sheer, unmitigated grief. “Why did Morrigan not come to me? Why was I not the one?”

There was another long pause, and Thea sighed. “Could you have lived with the knowledge, Cat? Knowing he was out there, loving him, but not knowing if he would ever love you again? Knowing he had no idea who you were, or why you were special?” She pinched the bridge of her nose. “Morrigan and I have spent the past ten years trying to find a way around this damn curse, and I have kept the anchor object safe and hidden. At least…” She gave a helpless shrug and turned back towards the window.

For the first time, Cat looked out over the Gwaren countryside. Or at least, that was what should have met her. Instead, from the walls of the keep all the way to the distant ruin of a tower, there was a wicked thicket of brambles and thorns. It stretched through the previously gentle meadows, all the way to the sea cliffs and to the borders of the Brecilian, and she had no idea how far beyond the tower it went. There was movement around the tower itself, but they were too far away for Cat to determine what the source of it was. A single light at the top floor of the structure glimmered bright amidst the gathering dawn.

“He found the anchor,” Thea explained resignedly. “All this,” she gestured outside, “Was a line of last defense. Should the worst happen and Nathaniel find the anchor despite my best efforts, he would fall into a deep, enchanted sleep. These measures were meant as a stop gap to prevent his father from getting to him before we did; to prevent him from… finishing what he started. That was why I wanted him here, Cataline. I wanted him close so that when he… woke up… we would be able to protect him.”

“And you thought a great bloody bramble field was a good idea?” Cat yelled.

Thea shot a look of irritation at her. “In my limited defense, I had not the slightest idea what Morrigan was setting up. Her last visit here was a very short one, and our time was brief. It was just after you had joined us in Gwaren, and I needed a new hiding spot for the damn thing. The goal was to keep Rendon out. Which leads us back to our more immediate issue.” She looked up at her fiancé, and Loghain took her hand in his. “Cat, Rendon has been spotted in the teyrnir. Perhaps he was drawn here by the same impulse that drew Nathaniel to the anchor, and that woke me up in the early hours of the morning. And yours were not the only memories restored.”

“Maker _damn it_ ,” Cat swore. “He intends to kill Nathaniel.”

“Of that, we have no doubt,” Loghain confirmed. “Something I would prefer to avoid, as I rather like the young man, to say nothing of the price you have both paid this past decade.”

“We _both_ paid?” Cat stared at him. “She got to keep her memories! I was the one who was living feeling as though half my heart were missing?”

“Yes, Cataline,” Loghain replied, his voice rising, “Theadosia kept her memories. She alone knew _exactly_ what was missing, and she lived with that loneliness and that burden for many years on her own, because she feared what the knowledge would do to you.”

“That was her own fault, Loghain, not mine,” Cat snapped, but in her heart she knew he was right; knew Thea had been right. If she had been forced to live for ten years knowing that contacting Nathaniel could very well sign his death warrant…

“Hate me if you must, Cat, but for now we have work to do,” Thea finally spoke again. “Ten long years we searched, Morrigan and I, and found precious few answers, save one: we know how to wake Nathaniel up.”

“Then do it!” Cat demanded. “Get a damn ax, chop a path to that tower, and wake him up!”

“I can’t,” Thea said quietly. “But you can.”

“The void do you mean, you can’t?”

Thea took a deep breath. “It is love, Cat. Love is what will break the curse’s hold on him. My love has kept his memory alive all these years; has kept him safe. But _your_ love can save him. Your love for him, true and deep and burning bright even after all this time, is what will bring him back to us.”

“I see,” Cat replied evenly. “And I assume you have some impossibly important errand that supersedes your assisting me in this matter?”

“You could say that,” Thea exhaled. “Nathaniel will not be safe so long as his father still lives. However, Rendon has made a fatal error: he has crossed the borders into our lands. By right, I may claim his blood.” Her jaw took on a stubborn set, and her eyes were cold. “And I intend to make good on that claim.”

Cat considered for a moment. She knew Thea was right: Rendon would always be a threat so long as he lived; had intended Nathaniel to be dead in the first place. His rage at learning his initial plan had failed would be great. Still, she balked at taking his life. She did not have to be the one to tell Nathaniel she had killed his father, and Thea knew it.

“Fine,” she finally agreed reluctantly. “Best find me a pair of hedge clippers, then.”

Thea snorted. “Cat, if you think for one moment I am letting you storm the tower on your own, you are sadly mistaken.” She tapped her index finger against her cheek thoughtfully.

“I know exactly who to send with you.”

————————————————————————— 

“Let me see if I understand this correctly,” Lady Vivienne said dryly. “Our darling Thea had time to plan wards of this magnitude, yet seemed to have great difficulty making it to a simple dress fitting.”

“Calling any of this ‘planned’ is exceedingly generous,” Dorian sniffed. “Honestly, some of you southern mages have no taste for a truly dastardly trap.”

“Oh I don’t know,” Merrill piped up, a smudge of green still on her cheek from where she had been wrestling with the arrangements for the next day’s festivities. “I think it is creative! And it must have taken an immense amount of power to set all this up, and to make sure it was linked to a single trigger.”

Cat took a deep breath, resisting the urge to scream. “Perhaps we can discuss the finer points of curses and their attendant defenses at a later date? Say, _after_ we have rescued the love of my life from a foreboding tower?”

Vivienne gave her a look of patient amusement. “Of course, my dear. But really, brambles? You could have achieved a much more aesthetic outlay with a proper hedge maze and a few enchanted gargoyles.”

“Perhaps some toxic flowers from Seheron,” Dorian suggested as he dismounted and began studying the wall of brambles that stretched out for some distance in either direction. “I admit, my expertise with living things is a bit limited. What do you think, Madam de Fer? Fire, perhaps? Freeze it solid and then shatter it?”

Vivienne shook her head gracefully. “No… fire, we risk setting the whole mess ablaze, and if even a spark lands in the Brecilian we would be looking at a wildfire. Ice might work, but we would have to freeze it all the way down to the core of the briars, which may take more energy and magic than is feasible-”

“Oh, none of that will be necessary!” Merrill chimed in cheerfully. She dismounted her gentle mare and approached the tangled thicket. She ran a diminutive hand over one of the vines and, when the thorns drew blood, she knelt down and whispered a few words as her entire body began to glow with an ethereal green aura. Cat heard almost identical noises of disapproval from the other two, but summarily ignored them as she watched Merrill work. Slowly at first, then more rapidly, the brambles began sinking back into the earth. Soon, it almost appeared as though a wave was rippling over the land as the cruel vines were absorbed back into the soil and were replaced by the gently swaying grasses and wildflowers Cat was accustomed to.

Merrill stood up spryly, withdrawing a surprisingly clean cloth from a rather well-worn pouch at her waist and daubing her finger with it until she was satisfied the bleeding had stopped. “There!” She announced with a sunny smile. “Easy enough. They simply had to be asked politely. Kindness and compassion are remarkable motivators, you know.”

“Thank you, Merrill,” Cat replied. “That was… remarkable, really.”

“Oh, nonsense,” Merrill laughed. “I am simply glad I was able to assist. Shall we ride on?”

They mounted up again, though Cat was still a bit in awe at the show of power from the elven mage. Despite her modesty, Cat knew perfectly well that had been no easy feat, and just how strong Merrill truly had to be in order to pull it off. Regardless, there were more pressing matters on her mind, and they rode hard towards the distant tower. Without the obstructive vegetation it was a short gallop, but they drew up short of the tower itself when they realized the source of the movement Cat had spied from the castle.

“Oh, delightful!” Dorian noted wryly. “Dragonlings. And a drake. No, apologies, _two_ drakes. What was Morrigan thinking?”

“At least there is no dragon,” Cat pointed out, and Dorian raised an eyebrow at her in question. She shrugged. “The drakes are not hostile to one another. If there was a female present, they would be trying to stake a claim and remove their rival. So we at least have that going for us. How many of the dragonlings do you count?”

“A half dozen, I believe,” Vivienne replied. “It should be manageable. Not pleasant, but manageable.”

Cat inhaled deeply, hoping she looked more calm than she felt as she unhooked her bow from her back and drew an arrow. “Alright. Dorian, I would like you to maintain a barrier on Lady Vivienne, and if you can manage a few lightning strikes in there I would not say no. Vivienne, if you would be so kind as to demonstrate your fade step and spirit blade here, I would be grateful. With your skill and grace you will most likely be able to dispatch the smaller ones before they are able to marshal a coordinated attack. Merrill, if you could reach into the ground and pull up some of those brambles you just dispersed in order to herd them into a confined space, I would greatly appreciate it. And I…” She exhaled, nocking the arrow in her bow string as she nudged Lark forward. “I am going to do my best to take out the drakes. I should be able to get close enough to make a precision shot to the eye or throat before they realize what Vivienne is doing.”

She suddenly deeply wished she had not yelled quite so vehemently at Thea, or that she had agreed to allow her and Loghain to pursue their hunt of Rendon Howe. Either one of them could have easily made the shots she now needed to; that Nathaniel’s life depended on. As if he could read her thoughts, Dorian guided his horse closer and placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. “You do not give yourself enough credit, Cat,” he said under his breath while Vivienne and Merrill began preparing their spells. “I’ve seen you at the archery range: near perfect every time.”

“Against a stationary target,” Cat pointed out dryly. “I rather doubt the drakes will be so obliging as to simply let me pick them off.”

Dorian laughed, a shimmering blue glow sliding effortlessly over his skin as he began working his own magic. “Have a little faith, Cataline. You are stronger than you know, I daresay.”

“We are ready, Cat,” Merrill interrupted gently. “I can feel the briars beneath the earth. They almost feel… hungry. It will not be difficult to call them back up.”

Cat nodded slowly. “Alright,” she whispered. “Dorian, set the barrier. Vivienne, when you are ready, ride as close as you can get before you attack. No point giving them a wide window of opportunity. Merrill, as soon as Vivienne begins her attack, raise the vines. Give here an arena to work in, but try to keep the draconids from roaming too far and gaining a chance to flank her.”

They all nodded at her, then Vivienne set her horse to a loping canter. Thea watched as the mage dismounted, then seemingly disappeared save for a faint shimmer where Dorian’s barrier had set. Suddenly, there was a brilliant blaze of tourmaline colored light as Vivienne’s incorporeal blade struck out from behind the first dragonling, neatly severing its neck before she merged once more with the fade. A sudden eruption of vines sprang up around the reptilian creatures, and every so often a wicked looking branch would wind around a scaly leg.

“All you now, Cat,” Dorian said quietly, his focus set on keeping Vivienne shielded.

Cat drew the arrow back, lining it up with her cheek and steadying her breath. It was a long shot, literally, but she had made longer. The trick was to strike the drakes before they got too close to Vivienne, thus putting the mage in greater danger and increasing the difficulty of Cat’s own shot. She took a final moment and a silent prayer to any deity that might be listening, then loosed her arrow.

It was a perfect shot, straight to the first drake’s eye. It gave a shrill howl of rage that she could hear clearly even from her position, then fell in a heap. Unfortunately, that alerted the remaining drake to the secondary threat, and it began winding its sinuous body in a rapid path towards the border of brambles Merrill had raised. It opened its razor-toothed maw and unleashed a ball of flame, setting the vines ablaze. While there was no longer a significant threat of wildfire, the burning briars were still a potential problem and, more to the point, when they burned away they would give the drake a clean line of attack to charge them.

Cat reached back and drew another arrow, her hands less steady than they had been a moment ago. She aimed and fired, but instead of hitting the drake in the eye or throat, the arrow strafed slightly and left a deep gash along the creature’s neck, enraging it further. “Damn it,” she muttered before drawing another arrow from the quiver at her back. She took a deep breath, focused her aim, then fired once more. This time, her aim was true, and the arrow buried itself deep into the drake’s chest. It put up a bit more fight before it crashed to the ground just as Vivienne was slashing at the final dragonling. She finished it off quickly, then casually dashed a bit of frost over the burning vines to extinguish them.

“Hurry,” Cat urged the others as they galloped off, closing the distance between them and the tower. When they reached the bottom, she instantly reached for the door before common sense stopped her. “Would one of you be kind enough to put out some feelers, see if you can detect any nasty surprises behind this door?”

All three mages focused their attention on the tower. Dorian was the first to shake his head. “There is a bright spot towards the top. Could be the anchor itself, though if the curse worked as intended it should be inert now. Whatever it is does not feel particularly malevolent.”

“I agree,” Merrill said, her expression thoughtful. “It almost feels like a protective ward.”

“Regardless,” Vivienne interjected, “We will of course accompany you inside. Slowly, if you please. I very much doubt Nathaniel will be pleased if you manage to save him only to fall victim to some trap yourself.”

Cat nodded, then carefully opened the door to the tower. The first three floors were in utter disarray: birds and small rodents had made their nests in every nook, and dust coated every surface save for the stairs themselves which, despite the decay of the rest of the tower’s furnishings, seemed to be fashioned of the same sturdy stone as the tower itself. They ascended slowly, Vivienne leading the way, then Cat, with Merrill and Dorian bringing up the rear, the mages constantly alert for potential traps. Finally, they reached an impressive wooden door at what Cat had to assume was the top of the tower.

“Merrill was correct,” Vivienne announced. “This door is heavily warded, but it is not anything I should not be able to manage.” She placed both hands flat against the door and began weaving a complex counter spell. The door began to glow with a soft, rosy glow that faded as Vivienne removed her hands and gave a nod of satisfaction. “There. That ought to do it.” She stepped aside and Cat approached, but when Cat attempted to open the door, it was still locked.

“Ah,” Dorian laughed. “All our cleverness and bravery, only to be foiled by a simple, mundane lock.”

“Hardly” Cat retorted with a small smile, reaching into her bag and withdrawing a lock picking kit. She knelt down at the door and began to work, much to the bemusement of Vivienne and Merrill, and the amusement of Dorian. She gave a delicate shrug. “Nathaniel taught Thea and I. She tends to be a bit too impatient for it, but I rather enjoy the challenge.” She fell silent, listening carefully, until she heard the soft yet ever so satisfying _click_. Tucking her tools away carefully, she stood, taking a deep breath. Just as her hand reached for the door, the noise of the door at the base of the tower opening echoed up the stairs.

“Go,” Dorian prodded her gently, “We will go handle this. You have to save your long lost love so the bards can begin composing epic ballads of my bravery.”

Vivienne rolled her eyes, but she graced Cat with a small smile. “I almost pity whoever is down there,” she stated. Merrill reached out and gave Cat one final squeeze of the hand, then followed the others. Cat turned back to the door, her heart threatening to beat its way out of her chest.

She opened the door.

Unlike the rest of the tower, this room was in pristine condition. Even the windows seemed to be freshly washed, and early morning sunlight was streaming through them. On the desk was an object she recognized immediately: an intricately carved and forged arrow she had given Nathaniel for his twentieth birthday years ago. And there, laying peacefully on the bed in a deep, untroubled sleep, was Nathaniel.

She gently sat down on the edge of the bed, reaching a cautious hand up to brush against his cheek. His skin was cold to the touch, but there was still a faint pulse at his neck, and she could still detect the warm flow of his breath. “Oh, Nathaniel,” she whispered, “I am so sorry. I did not know. I… I never stopped loving you, though. All these years, all those impossible dreams… it was you. It was always you.”

There were tears streaming down her cheeks now, but she made no move to wipe them away. Instead, she leaned closer, her long ginger braid falling over her shoulder as she did so. “I love you, Nathaniel,” she murmured, then softly pressed her lips against his.

And then, after what felt like an eternity, she felt his lips press against hers.

She opened her eyes as they parted, her gaze searching his for any hint of recognition. What she saw was even better.

“ _Wildflower_.”


	10. Chapter 10

“Andraste take me, Nathaniel, you remember,” Cat sobbed, throwing her arms around his neck and burying her face against his shoulder. And she was right. He remembered _everything_ : his life in Amaranthine, his horrible father, his best friend, his plans to run away to Highever and marry Cataline.

“Cat, I love you,” he whispered fervently. “I love you. I have _always_ loved you. In fact,” he shifted her slightly so he could reach for the chain he wore beneath his shirt. He undid the clasp, sliding the delicate golden ring set with alexandrite stones off before offering it to her. “The last thing I remember from… from before… Cat, I want to marry you. A decade apart and a witch’s curse, and I still managed to fall in love with you all over again.”

She laughed brightly, the sound light and beautiful in the stillness of the tower. “Nathaniel, of course I will marry you.” He smiled, her words warming his heart and his soul in a way that felt so wonderfully familiar. He pulled her close to him once more, claiming her mouth with his and kissing her deeply. When they finally parted, she curled up beside him, and he simply held her there as he stroked her hair. Eventually, he asked the question he knew she had to be expecting.

“What in the void happened, Cat?”

She sighed, nuzzling her head against his shoulder. “It is a long story.”

So they lay there together, safe in each other’s arms, as she told him everything she knew: the deal his father had made with Flemeth, the witch’s own interpretation of Rendon’s demand, and the pact sealed by his best friend’s own lifeblood. Cat admitted there were still pieces she was unclear on, having not given Thea much of a chance to explain more fully.

“I… I was not kind, Nathaniel,” she whispered, shame coloring her words. “I know she did what she believed in her heart to be right, but when I think of all the years we have lost…”

“Don’t, Wildflower.” He tilted her chin up gently so that he could brush another kiss to her lips. “You will drive yourself mad doing that. Think instead of all the time we will have together now. All because I have been kept safe and hidden these past ten years.”

“You are right,” she murmured. “I will need time, I think.” Suddenly, she sat up straight, a panicked look in her eyes. “Oh maker, I forgot the others!” She took him by the hand and they made their way down the tower stairs as quickly as they could manage, given he was still feeling a bit unsteady on his feet after his ordeal. When they emerged from the dim interior to the defiantly cheerful light of morning, they were greeted by Vivienne, Dorian, Merrill, and Loghain Mac Tir. The teyrn studied him carefully for a moment, then inclined his head slightly with a small smile.

“Welcome back to the world of the living, Nathaniel.”

Nathaniel gave a small bow of his own. “Thank you, Loghain. May I still call you that?”

Loghain gave a small chuckle. “I don’t see why not. It’s my name. Here.” He tossed a small shimmering object to Nathaniel. When he caught it, he recognized it immediately: the signet ring of Amaranthine. “That is yours now by rights,” Loghain said quietly. “You are now the Arl of Amaranthine.”

Nathaniel studied the ring for a moment, too many emotions vying for priority in his heart. Finally, he gave the other man a wry smile. “To be honest, I half expected her to have delivered the finger as well.”

Loghain gave an honest bark of laughter then. “Yes, well, be grateful I was there. You may have ended up with an entire hand. My wife-to-be had a great deal of rage to work out.” He must have noticed Nathaniel’s gaze roving about, because Loghain shook his head softly. “We decided it would be for the best if I came alone. She knew you would have a lot to work through, and she thought it would be best if you were given some space. That, and I suspect she would prefer not to walk down the aisle tomorrow bloodied and bruised.”

He said that last bit with a pointed look at Cataline, whose gaze fell to the ground. Nathaniel squeezed her hand gently. “Thank you, Loghain,” he replied. “I will need to speak with her eventually, but perhaps she is right. For now,” he gave a soft sigh, “For now I am simply glad to have my identity back. My past.”

“I imagine so,” Loghain noted quietly. “Cataline, I believe you are capable of escorting Nathaniel back to the castle? We shall take our leave.” He nodded to the three mages, and they mounted up to begin the ride back to Castle Gwaren, leaving Cat and Nathaniel alone. Nathaniel wasted no time pulling her back into his arms and kissing her again, long and soft and slow but full of all the promise and want that had always been present.

“I love you, Cat,” he murmured against her lips. “And I want you to know… this changes nothing. If you still want to run away, I will follow you to the ends of the world.”

“And one step further?” She asked, a teasing smile on her lips. “I admit, recent developments have thrown my plans, such as they were, for a loop. You are an arl now, after all.”

“Which,” he pointed out, slipping his hand through hers as she took Lark’s reins in her hand and they began walking in the direction of the distant castle, “Will make you an arlessa. Assuming you are still willing to marry me with this new knowledge.”

She laughed, a bright and pure sound in the early morning air. “Amaranthine could do worse, if I may be so bold,” she said, squeezing his hand. “We could build something there, Nathaniel. Something so much better than what your father let it become.”

“Something that is _ours_ ,” he added, and the light in her eyes when she looked up at him made his heart leap in his chest.

“Yes, Nathaniel,” she agreed softly. “Something that is ours. Though I feel compelled to point out I would have run away and married you regardless. You were right: a decade apart and a witch’s curse, and we still managed to fall in love all over again. If that is not a sign we were meant to be together, I do not know what is. I was ready to give up everything for you. I still would, if it need be.”

“Somehow, I no longer think it will be anything so drastic,” he reassured her. “I know it is impossible to pick up exactly where we left off all those years ago, but I believe we are off to a good start. I still love you more than life itself, Cataline. Somehow, I love you even more now than I did before, a feat I did not think possible.” He paused long enough to lean down and press a kiss to her lips before they continued. “We will need to spend some time catching up on the past ten years, more so you than me. I have only come up with twenty-three ways to make my day to day life in South Reach sound more exciting than it was. I imagine you had quite a bit more going on.”

Cat giggled quietly, briefly resting her head against his shoulder. “Not really,” she protested. “Meetings, meetings, and more meetings. Running the family business. Keeping Fergus grounded. Keeping Thea from creating a diplomatic incident.”

“And yet she is marrying Loghain,” he countered playfully, and she laughed.

“Hey, I am good, but I am not perfect,” she deadpanned. “In all honesty, though,” she smiled softly, “They are perfect together.”

“Even I could see that,” Nathaniel agreed. “I will need to talk to her, you know. Sooner rather than later.”

Cat was quiet for a long moment, then exhaled heavily. “Me too,” she conceded. “For the moment, however… I am still too angry. I know she had the best of intentions, but I resent not even being given a choice. Perhaps I would have agreed with her; perhaps not, but to not even be given the option? I cannot help being upset.”

“Oh, Wildflower, I know,” Nathaniel murmured softly. “Are we… are we still going to the wedding, tomorrow?”

“Of course!” Cat replied quickly. “Nathaniel, I still love them both, I just… I don’t know, love,” she shrugged. “I need time. But I would not miss this wedding for the world.” Her expression turned slightly sheepish. “Especially since Nora and I were the ones insisting on it. They wanted to elope, you know.”

Nathaniel smiled at her. “That does seem to track with my memories of her, and what I know of him. All will be well, Cat,” he reassured her. “You are right: we just need time. And I intend to give you every moment of it that you can stand.”

They reached the outer walls of the keep and made their way to the castle proper. The halls were surprisingly quiet, most of the occupants and guests at breakfast or already busy with wedding preparations for the following day. When they came to their rooms, Cat did not hesitate to follow him into his, saving him the awkwardness of having to ask her. As soon as he carefully shut the door, she fell into his arms once more, her lips finding his and her hands remembering exactly where they needed to go to drive him mad in the best possible ways.

“Well I have definitely missed this,” he said, pulling his shirt up over his head.

She gave a wry chuckle. “I feel it only fair to warn you I may be desperately out of practice,” she replied. “There… there has been no one since you, Nathaniel.”

He breathed a small sigh of relief. “I would not have blamed you, you know,” he pointed out quietly. “But if it helps, there has been no one since you, either.”

“I find that difficult to believe,” she teased. “The way I heard it, you were South Reach’s most eligible bachelor. The quiet, stoic thing just made them want you more.”

He rolled his eyes, but could not help smiling as her hands slipped beneath her blouse, lifting it slowly over her head as he watched. He stepped closer, helping her undo the ties on her trousers before she slipped them slowly over her hips. The rest of their clothing followed in short order, until he was holding her in his arms once more, the warmth of her bare skin against his waking memories in him he had not realized he had desperately missed.

“Wildflower,” he exhaled softly, his hands tracing the silky lines of her curves, every place he had been dreaming of touching since the day he had ‘met’ her, his mind sparking with wants he had long been harboring without ever being able to put a name to them. “Wildflower, I love you.”

“I love you, Nathaniel,” she murmured against his cheek, taking him by the hand and drawing him to the bed. She lay down and he followed suit, kissing a pattern along her jaw and down her neck to her collarbone. “And while I may be out of practice…” She pressed both hands to his shoulders, rolling him onto his back before straddling his lap, a beautifully familiar light in her eyes and an impossibly tempting tilt to her lips.

“I am more than willing to remind you of a few things.”

———————————————————————– 

She knew when Nathaniel arrived on the beach the next morning. He had been near silent, of course: all those years of employing the arts of stealth had not been wasted, and even if he had not been as adept at tracking as he was, the ocean would have likely drowned out his approach. Still, Thea was not surprised when he sat down in the sand beside her, cross-legged as she was, his hands shaping automatically into the same graceful form hers were: resting on her knees, middle finger to thumb, all other fingers spaced just slightly. Neither spoke at first. Instead, they both sat staring out at the ocean, breathing in and out with the waves until his had fallen into sync with her own. Only then did he reach out and take her hand in his, confirming the pulse in her wrist was steady.

“I admit, I wondered whether or not you would still be speaking to me after Cat told you the truth,” she finally said, and he could tell she was trying to keep her tone deceptively conversational.

“You know me better than that, Teddy Girl,” he replied softly, squeezing her hand. “I cannot even begin to imagine having to make the choice you had to make. Or living with the consequences all these years.” She nodded slowly, but he could see the faintest sheen of tears beyond the steady wall of her storm-blue eyes. “I am kicking myself for not realizing sooner that _you_ were the Teddy from the letter I had on me when I woke up in the woods with no memory.”

That did seem to surprise her, her brows rising for the briefest moment. “You kept that? Was it…” she swallowed, then continued. “That was the last letter I sent you before you arrived in Highever that year. You were bringing the ring… you were going to ask Cat to marry you.”

He heard the catch in her voice, and he ran a reassuring thumb over the back of her hand. “She said yes, by the way.”

That prompted a smile on the young woman’s face. “I told you she would,” she retorted primly. “You know, if you want a ready-made wedding you could just have ours,” she offered, a familiar glint of mischief in her eyes. “You and Cat can get married this afternoon with all the ceremony and ritual, and Loghain and I can run off to some backwater chantry and elope like we wanted to.”

“Nice try, Teddy Girl,” he replied dryly, leaning over and pressing a kiss to her temple. “Although, speaking of…”

“Maker’s wrath, I knew this was coming,” she sighed, and he felt her arm tense slightly. “You want to know how I ended up with him, of all people?”

“Only because I am curious as to how the two of you met,” Nathaniel corrected quickly. “I could not have picked a better match for you, Thea.”

She seemed to relax a bit, a small smile lilting at her lips. “Well, let’s see… we first met, what, four years ago? It was my first time in the capital, and I promptly got into a shouting match with him over a grain tax, of all things. I walked away from that argument knowing damn well I was right, that _he_ knew I was right, and that I was impossibly in love with the man.”

“Which irritated you to no end, I am sure,” he teased, and she laughed.

“To no end,” she agreed before continuing. “Two years later, we ran into each other again while I was giving Eamon Guerrin a rather impressive tongue lashing over some idiotic thing he had done. There have been so many it is difficult to keep track.”

She paused, her smile widening slightly as she remembered. “That night, Loghain came to my rooms to tell me how impressed he had been that someone had so effectively put Eamon in his place. Twenty minutes later we were in bed together. The next morning, I woke up in his arms and he told me he had not been able to stop thinking about me for the past two years, and that he had fallen in love with me despite every logical part of his brain telling him I could do better.”

Nathaniel smiled at her. “And what did you tell him?”

Thea was quiet for a moment, staring out at the sea. “The truth,” she finally shrugged. “That I had fallen in love with him the moment I met him, and that I wanted to be with no one else but him, and damn the consequences. When he left the capital to return to Gwaren, he asked me to come with him, and I did. And now, well,” she laughed, “Here we are. I am getting married.”

Another long span of silence stretched on, before finally Thea asked in a quiet voice, “How are you doing, Nathaniel?”

He considered carefully before answering. “I don’t know,” he admitted. “I have had two worlds smash together in spectacular fashion: my life before the curse, and my life in South Reach. I am ecstatic Cat still loves me, and that my own feelings seem to have grown only stronger in the past decade. I am excited to marry her and start a life with her, even if it is not exactly the life either of us had pictured. I am terrified of taking over the arling, but I figure I can’t do a worse job than my father.”

She gave a brief snort. “You are certainly right on that count,” she pointed out dryly, then hesitated, her eyes staring hard out at the horizon. “I did not have any choice, Nathaniel,” she said quietly. “He would have killed you. Was on his way to the tower, in fact, when Loghain and I caught up to him. He knew we would kill him if he crossed out borders after what he and Thomas did.”

“I know, Thea,” Nathaniel whispered, the words almost lost to the surf. “I have no illusions about the man my father was; not anymore. And if he or my brother had ever done anything to hurt Cat…”

“I would never let that happen,” Thea interjected fiercely. “Despite what either of you may think of my choices, I did my best to keep you both safe this entire time.”

“Did Cullen or Elina know?” Nathaniel asked, almost afraid to know the answer, but Thea shook her head.

“No. The fewer people who knew, the safer you were,” she replied, her tone firm. “I told Loghain because the ache of keeping the secret was growing too painful, and he was the only person outside of Cat I knew I could trust. And we eventually told Anora, because we knew we would need her help to keep you out of harm’s way.” Her eyes fell to the sand in front of them, and she exhaled heavily. “I cannot tell you how sorry I am, Nathaniel,” she said, her voice little more than a hoarse murmur. “I tried, Maker knows I tried, to find a way around this mess. And maybe I should have told Cat, but I still think I made the right decision. I would not have put her through this pain for anything. Especially since I know damn well it would have been infinitely worse for her.”

“Oh, Teddy Girl.” Nathaniel wrapped an arm around her as her head fell against his shoulder. “I know. And you do not have to apologize to me. I know you did what you had to do. Void, if not for you, I would have _never_ been reunited with Cat. I would have simply ceased to exist. And you know,” he tilted her chin up so she was facing him, “The best thing about ‘waking up’ was finding Cat, and realizing she still loved me. But the next best thing was waking up and finding you finally happy. You’ve done well, little shadow.”

Thea smiled, bright and honest, before giving him a gentle jab in the arm. “You know better than most you’re not supposed to make me smile, you ass,” she said, but the smile remained nevertheless. She stood gracefully, then reached a hand down to help him up. “Come on, we had better head back. I have a wedding to get to.”

He laughed, following her back up the path to the meadow.

It was good to be home.

——————————————————————— 

The wedding was beautiful. Thea looked absolutely stunning, and when Loghain saw her, the light in his eyes left no doubt in anyone’s mind that they were meant to be together. They were an attractive couple, and Gwaren would thrive under their guidance. After the wedding ceremony, Thea knelt before her friend and queen as Anora set the wyvern coronet over the auburn waves of Thea’s hair, thus making official the role she had been in for the past two years. Nathaniel was happy for his best friend, and for his new friend. 

At his side, Cat was smiling even as tears were streaming down her cheeks. He wondered what kind of wedding she would like: what her gown would look like, what flowers she would want, how she would wear her hair… She would look drop dead gorgeous regardless. All Nathaniel cared about was being with her, and making the promise to her he had intended to make all those years ago.

Cat seemed to read his thoughts, because she squeezed his hand and looked up at him, a sweet smile on her lips. They filed out of the chantry with the rest of the guests, making their way to the great hall for the reception. There, they spoke a few words with the bride and groom before making room for the next well-wishers. There was still tension between Cat and Thea; Nathaniel could feel it, and had seen the gentle hand Loghain had placed at the small of his wife’s back. Still, he knew things would improve with time. The two women loved each other fiercely, and Nathaniel knew Cat was truly happy for Thea, just as Thea was truly happy about their engagement.

They mingled with the other guests for a time, and Nathaniel accepted a very sheepish apology from Eleanor Cousland. While Cat spoke with her parents, Anora set a gentle hand on his shoulder and gestured with her head for him to follow her to a quieter spot.

“Congratulations, Nathaniel,” she said softly, smiling kindly. “And welcome home,” she added, her smile widening a bit.

“Thank you, Nora,” he replied, keeping his voice low. “It is still surreal, to be honest. I am overwhelmed, but having Cat back is helping immensely. Knowing she still loves me… it is everything.”

“I am happy for you both,” she nodded. “I know it has been a very long time coming. I am also glad you were able to be here,” she gestured a delicate hand towards her father and Thea, “For this. It meant so much to her to have you here, and to know you were safe. Cat and Thea have missed you so much, which is why,” she looked up at him with a glint of mischief in her eye, “I felt compelled to point out to you it is not _strictly_ necessary for you to travel immediately to Amaranthine. Varel is a capable steward, and it would probably be for the best to give the people of the arling some time to allow the news to sink in. They are still… recovering from your father’s last years.”

Nathaniel felt a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. “I see. So if I were to, say, take a few months to reacquaint myself with my fiancée, my best friend, and her new husband… maybe travel for a bit… I could do so relatively guilt free?”

Anora gave a deceptively innocent shrug. “I am simply sharing information, Nathaniel,” she replied. “What you do with that information will be entirely up to you.”

“I see,” he laughed. “Thank you, Nora.”

She inclined her head. “In any case, I will let you return to Cat. I know the two of you still have much to catch up on. And if the two of you were to slip out, I am certain Thea would understand.” Anora gave him one more friendly squeeze on the arm, then turned and made her way back through the crowd. Nathaniel caught Cat’s eye and tossed his head subtly in the direction of the door. She smiled, then started moving in that direction. They did not say much as they laced their fingers together and made their way upstairs to her room, into which they had moved all of his things. They changed out of their wedding finery into more comfortable clothes, a process made much slower by the many subtle and not-so-subtle touches that passed between them.

They slipped quietly out of the castle, avoiding the other revelers as they made their way out of the courtyard and beyond the keep’s walls to the meadows beyond. The summer breeze coming off the Amaranthine was soft as it wove through his hair, and the fading rays of sunlight that shone over the rolling hills warmed his skin, though not so much as the presence of the woman beside him warmed his heart. He could still smell the familiar notes of vanilla from the scent she wore, and he could just barely detect her heartbeat against her wrist where he held her hand entwined with his. When they reached her favorite tree, they stopped, and he wrapped his other arm around her waist, pulling her close to him.

“We could get married right here, you know,” Nathaniel suggested. “Just us, the revered mother, Thea and Loghain for witnesses…”

Cat giggled, nestling her head against his shoulder. “Thea might die from the irony,” she pointed out. “Us having a small, intimate wedding after I talked her into that entire ceremony back there.”

“Perhaps,” Nathaniel conceded with a laugh. “If you dislike the idea…”

“I love it,” Cat interrupted quickly, a beautiful smile lighting up her features. “Soon?”

He returned her smile. “As soon as you like, my love. Tomorrow. The next day. The day after that…”

“I imagine tomorrow will be suitable,” she agreed with mock solemnity before her lips curved up again. The setting sun was catching the beautiful shimmer in her violet eyes, and making her skin and hair glow. She was beautiful, and sweet, and intelligent, and kind… and his.

“I love you, Wildflower,” he murmured softly, his lips brushing a kiss against her lips as she arched onto her toes.

“I love you, Nathaniel,” she replied. “I always have. I always will. Even in my dreams.”

Nathaniel smiled, whispering briefly against her cheek as he bent to kiss her again.

“Forever, Cat.”


End file.
